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I moved in to mom's house 10 or more months ago to be her caregiver. moved here with the dog and put my place up for sale.
I learned my mom was an AH. She went out of her way to create tension and I cried every night. She tormented me. She was rude and rotten to the dog. When the dog was sick and dying, my mom was MEAN and ROTTEN to the dog. I could type for hours but I won't
I would tell mom to LEAVE both bathroom doors open wide so the dog could go into the kitchen. mom would close them and say the dog would figure it out. I would cry my eyes out. That dog was my life. HOW could this psychotic woman be ok with a blind or partially blind dog struggling. I would say MOVE this Fking walker out of the center of the room so the dog doesn't bump into it. She would say, The dog is fine. She walks around it. I would say F U... WHAT is the matter with you. I lost all respect or love for my mom.
When all was good, we always opened the blind in the living room so the dog could look outside. She would sit there for hours until either both me and mom, or just me, would come home... The dog loved looking outside waiting for me. Even when blind, I kept the blind open. When the dog died, mom closed the blind. I would say LEAVE the GOD DAMN blind alone. you don't even use that room. This is my way to remember her. I want the blind up. Mom went in there to close it. Went in a room she didn't use to close a blind.
With the bathroom, she closes both doors now. IT is bad for mold and air circulation and I want the doors open as my way of remembering the dog and wanting her to walk through.
Mom closes the door. I open it. mom closes the blind. I open it. Mom adjusts the thermostat. either 81 or 74. ac on heater on. she has no clue what she is doing but she has to do it. The system doesn't even feed her bedroom but she needs to make me freeze or boil
I left the dead dog's bedding where she slept on it her final night. my mom moves it. I wash my clothes and mom takes them out of the dryer and wants to fold and hang them up
is this dementia or just someone who wants her way and doesn't care that she literally made me cry for over 10 months, every single night.
i put a strainer on the kitchen sink drain... mom moved the strainer and put food down the drain and we had to get a plumber. She thinks she is a genius....wrong
Living at her house she told me- I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW. YOU MOVE OUT. I SAID OK. I HAVE MORE MONEY THAN YOU HAVE. I don't need your threats. you can order your RX.. you find a way to get to the store to buy food. you find a way to get to your DR appts... you make your own DR appts. you find a way to your own hair and nail appts. you pay your own bills and balance your own accounts. She said ok, don't move. I need you. I said I am tired of you making me sick and destroying me and threatening me... So I moved back into my place and slept on the carpet for months, all alone in an empty place- while mom slept on two sofas or a bed... had 2 TVS and a house to relax in and live.
I lived on the carpet like a G D RAT. I had to keep the place spotless for open houses so i could not use the shower tub bathroom sink. I visited daily to make sure mom was alive and had food and then I LEFT. EVERY DAY i WOULD OPEN THE BLINDS AND THE DOORS AND SEE the dog houses and beds and toys and I would cry as I left. I felt sick driving there and leaving.
Finally, mom who did nothing for years except watch tv and read and sleep all day and night, decided to start moving everything I had moved to her house. she moved everything related to the dog. she moved everything of mine she could get to. She went out of her way to do things that would make me fall apart. I was dealing with a property sale and a dog that died and a mom that was a Fking AH and here she was every day trying to upset me.
she could not clean the dried honey stain that has been on the counter top for a year. could not clean the kitchen table you can't even see. could not clean the counter tops you can't even find. could not clean her bed that has clothes stacked up for years. She had to do something that would hurt me, anytime she was not sleeping or watching TV
just like during my whole life, she refused to say she was sorry or admit she did something wrong, or was wrong. She looked me in the eyes and lied to me over and over and could not say she was at fault.
She has yet to thank me for moving in to help her. has yet to make me feel welcome. 95% of what I moved here is NOT unpacked, because she gave me no space to live and told me when she dies- I can throw things out and unpack. The plan had been to live in this house with the dog. mom wanted the dog to have this huge house to run around in
my dog is dead. she can't run around. My mom wakes up and sits in the dark and watches TV all day and night and sleeps on the sofa- and then at 11pm she says I can watch tv
I cried almost daily for a year. I burp all day and night. my insides are a mess. I don't digest well anymore. I see photos and videos of the dog and I cry because she was the happiness. Mom is the nightmare.
dementia or just a stubborn rotten person who really doesn't care about what I am dealing with? Her own MD told her to be nice to me..She was luckily I moved in to help her. Her Emergency room and hospital doctors said the same. her nail person told her to be thankful I am there for her because most women her age are alone or in assisted care. Her friends, all of whom have children that live out of state, have told her to be good to me, because she is lucky
maybe not nice, but I told her when she is gone, I will finally have peace and will have a few years to live my life, instead of taking care of a person who goes out of her way to hurt me. I won't even repeat the rotten reply she said
Her own kids want nothing to do with her. Her own daughters won't call her or visit. They want the estate and the money, but they will never talk to her again
I finally sold my place this week. I moved back in with mom. the last 36 hours have been hell. she closes the bathroom door. I open it. she closes the blind. I open it. She lets me sit in a closed room avoiding her, and at 10pm says I can watch the TV
I should be thrilled my place is sold and I have a chunk of money and a huge estate being left to me. I would give it all away to have my baby girl back in my life
Here is a photo of the dog. Blind or partially blind or seeing in only one eye or shadows. MOM had upset me so much and I was outside at night on the lawn crying. My dog, moved the blind and looked outside and watched me until I came back inside. She was worried about me. As I told my mom.. I am broken by her actions- and she continues to hurt me, while I try to help her live out her life. goodnight little lady- I will love you until I die...
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