Laura Murphy

Can someone show Tiger Woods and Justin Timberlake the uber app?

petition for hotel rooms to start leaving qr codes in the room to tip housecleaning staff because it’s 2026 and i don’t have cash ever

This. It’s incredible in a way that defies comedy and makes you think and feel. I don’t know anything like it.

Had a discussion at work today bc someone wanted to fly DC to NYC. I was always choosing @Amtrak first for that, but after this TSA nonsense!? How can you choose otherwise?

All the time.

@LONTDC1 I used to be invited to many events back in the late 2000s, including Jersey unveilings and the NatsU, and all female driven day with access to the field and coaches. It does matter, and they should bring those programs back.

7. Girlies - Tag your team, use the hashtags, promote yourselves. I was the only female there & that’s not what the balance should have been. Representation matters and half the population deserves more than 20% of representation at table. #NATITUDE

Was invited to attend an "influencers" event at Nats Park yesterday to meet with Jason Sinnarajah, President of Business Operations for the @Nationals It was a very nice enough, with Jason being incredibly generous with his time, these are things we brought up:

Sometimes if you’re feeling mad the bridge in Not Ready to Make Nice by The Chicks will fix you

Must be nice. Signed, Washington Sports Fans

@LauraLoomer You made this statement seriously? I don’t even have children, and this lack of compassion is so gross to me.

Is there anything worse than a crying baby on a plane? I wish parents would control their children. It’s so disruptive. I refuse to believe a baby cries for 10 hours. At some point this is just bad parenting, right?

I work a Director of Communications, and I think most of my best friends couldn’t describe what I do if I offered them $500.

Why pay ICE agents to do TSA workers job when they can just pay TSA workers???

@ShawnChittle @BarredinDC @wmata I moved here from New York in 2006, and I was like “it’s so clean! And they tell you the wait time!” I was truly impressed. I’ve seen it go through ups and downs, but I still consider it a truly great part of our city.

When I first got to DC in 2020 from NYC I was homesick. I didn’t know anyone here and it wasn’t easy to make friends. The one thing that I missed the most was the subway. I’d ask about it and people thought I meant the sandwich place. “We call it the Metro here” — so I quickly learned! When I finally ventured down to one of the stations — it was Woodley — I couldn’t believe my eyes. I descended into what could only be described as a futuristic vision of what modern transit is meant to be. Logan’s Run, Blade Runner, or Star Wars — it feels like science fiction. It’s clean, fast, friendly, and a wonder for the eyes. I marveled at it for so long I almost missed my first train! I’m a Red line rider. Apps will tell me it takes “so” long to get to a place. WMATA always gets me there much faster than estimated. My friends like I’m always early but it’s not me! The DMV is spread out, but the Metro makes quick work of the distances. I don’t think I would have stayed here had it not been for this system, which — even after 5 years — leaves me with a sense of wonder and joy.

We’re celebrating 50 YEARS serving the DMV with a special ride you don’t want to miss! 🎉 Tell us what Metro means to you (via comment or DM) for a chance to join us on an exclusive trip Fri, March 27 🥳 We’ll have special giveaways, music, & more! Enter by March 24 at 12 pm

@harvey_cynthis @gayguycandleco My mom would agree 100%. That’s the perfect mom energy she needs! You’re doing great.

@LMurphyDC @gayguycandleco Absolutely! Shes beautiful. I just want her healthy. Happily she's got a really great husband who adores her. And she's confident. But as her mom. I will always worry.

Being obese in this country must be fucking exhausting. People mock you for your weight, and then when you use the gifts of science to lose weight they mock you for losing it “the wrong way.” Leave people alone.

@harvey_cynthis @gayguycandleco To you as well! It’s okay. Let people say what they want. Our health comes first! ❤️

@LMurphyDC @gayguycandleco Same with daughter! She just got approval for them and I hope it helps because her BP is high too. And that is what killed her Uncle, my little brother. People are assholes!! Wishing you the absolute best!!

how

Oh my god, Vandy!! What a game. Tanner was incredible. I swore he had it. This is one of those games that breaks my heart for kids. #MarchMadness

I love people with ADHD because they never actually forget anything. You just have to say the right words to activate them like a sleeper cell and then they awaken with all of the knowledge on a very niche subject they studied for 3 months straight 6 years ago

@NatsAndCats Not quite the weird charm of Gritty, but I’ll admit it’s growing on me…

@LMurphyDC It's a gnome-link creature thingey a woman in Missouri invented in the early 1900s which apparently was quite popular at the time, and somehow it got associated with St. Louis University. I respect schools that choose unique mascots but this one kind of creeps me out.

What is a billiken? And no, I won’t Google it.

@LMurphyDC It’s The God Of How Things Ought To Be, Laura. Also SLU had a bar that sold pitchers of beer for a penny on Wednesdays when I was in college. Talk about how things ought to be.