Scooby Woo

Can’t tell if I’m balding or if my widows peak is peaking #mrclean

Update: Scooby can smell sounds now and his nose no longer tickles

Had to order a nose hair trimmer on Amazon yesterday… I’m washed

I can taste the tears of the cows in my fairlife chocolate milk

@VLONEPREDATOR Claviculars house

I’m having trouble breathing with a bad fever. Where should I fly tomorrow?

@priest_099 A can of Brisk

I dare you to mention a 10/10 non alcoholic drink

LETS GO KNICKS

@Miaxi915 This would go for millions in a foreign country art auction

insane goodwill pickup

@HubertsLeftNut Adam Sandler

Started a new list in the notes app. Need suggestions #asap

Terrified that I’m losing my twitter fastball

Dear god yes

@HarnyBarney These would be big improvements Marty.

Biggest takeaways: - stop going to sleep with the Kachis on - stop talking about the Ex everytime u drink

@HarnyBarney Drink a million beers tonight Marty

Marty please don’t forget you have to wake up early tomorrow and have a long day. Don’t ruin it for yourself tonight

@rooosterx Great day to be Rooster

Bad day to be a $1 Whole Foods oyster

@HarnyBarney Give my best to our friends in DC and then turn the town into ashes and rubble ☺️

Last time I went to DC it was for an elementary school field trip. Think I’m gonna have a little bit of a different experience this time now that I can legally get sloppy all over the streets. Gonna tear this place to the fucking ground

@bobbylikesbeers bobby, That’s what bros are for. Your fellow bro, Scooby Woo

bro will you rub my belly

@InsideTheBoxGuy That’s what Big Lactose wants you to believe

Eating an entire box of mac and cheese at lunch was a TERRIBLE idea

@rooosterx Fire me up Rooster

Talk dirty to me Goose

@hetmehtaa Moist

i am a cybersecurity guy, scare me with one word