Olalekan Olaiya

@Oriaonm @CbianBen @combatantdee Azz in…… See where he hang ball

@CbianBen @combatantdee Damn! 🤯

What a SHAMELESS display of pettiness! As a long term paying subscriber of your Newsletter, Consider my Subscription CANCELLED!!

@DAwadje @Iameziokwu @carter6f @Darablaqie Hope all is well at home?

@Iameziokwu @Le_ccoushey @carter6f @Darablaqie If he understood he won’t travel all the way

“My parents refused to live in the first house I bought for ₦70 million because they thought it was Yahoo money… I had to get a lawyer to explain music money When we were living together, they told me to be home before 10pm and even made me sign a contract not to get tattoos” —Zlatan

@olasebotifeg Just this morning, I was wondering when Portable will have his usual bout of explosion. Ashey e don already Dey cook.

Portable is not ready to leave Koko Zaria and baba still dey fear when them never thr£at£n am at all 💔😂😂😂 he said he never said anything b@d about Sego, Sego is his boss 🤣🤣

@the_beardedsina Porous borders Corrupt officials Criminal organisations

I ask again. How are Nigerian youths getting Tramadol? This is something that is tightly controlled, how is Trams so accessible now.

@cyber_rekk So make we wey wan enter bus kukuma go find Okada go back to base? U Dey scare us o.

I'm fried AF In my next life I'll choose to become a farmer 😭😭

@Oluomoofderby @Nimisioluwa I disagree with the idea of a boarding school. A day school would have been better. Why not a boarding school in same US?

@Nimisioluwa I agree with your uncle and it’s a very good idea.

This is one of the reasons my uncle sent his kids back to Nigeria last year. He is a cop in the USA, and one of his male children threatened to bring his daddy’s gun to school to shoot another male child who bullied his girlfriend 🥲. The bully reported it to his parents, and they came the next day to say the school had failed to protect their child and they were scared for his safety because a Black child was threatening to kill their son. That’s how they suspended the boy pending further investigation and suspended my uncle too for letting his son touch his firearm 🥲. The next summer he brought them back to Nigeria for summer holiday and went back alone 😭😭. They are currently in a Muslim boarding school where they will learn the hard way.

@Maggiewitdsauce x.com/ireteeh/status… Collect better update from correct ‘sauce’…….🤣🤣🤣

Omo, I just experienced one of those WhatsApp scammers firsthand 😅 Caller: “My name is Mr Bamidele from Tripe Academy.” Me: “Good morning sir, how can I help you?” Caller: “Are you aware of the Zoom meeting by 8pm tonight?” Me: “No, but I’ll check it out if it’s true.” Caller: “Okay, check your SMS for a message in a foreign language with a code.” Me: I checked, nothing there. Caller: “Let me generate a new code, maybe it’s network.” At this point I was already suspicious. Then I hear someone in the background asking in pidgin who he was talking to, and he replies quietly, “na one client.” 🚩 Next thing, I receive a WhatsApp notification that someone is trying to log into my account. Me: “I’ve seen the code.” Caller: “Read it out for me.” Me: “Why do I need to send you the code?” Guy just switched instantly 😭 Caller: “Get out of here, you’re a bastard!” Me: 😂 “Ode, thief, go find better work!” He cut the call immediately. Moral of the story. Never share your WhatsApp verification code with anyone. That’s how they hijack accounts. These guys are getting bold, but once you stay sharp, their format no go work. Stay alert and be smart.

@Ebukaderealking You be king for real

In 2023 while I was in Asaba, I was living with a friend who was a movie producer. Everything was going great. He introduced me to a nearby provision shop where I could get anything I wanted on credit and he would pay back when he returned. I agreed and kept to the agreement. One fateful day, another woman who owned a provision shop in the neighborhood walked up to me and introduced herself as the wife of our landlords younger brother. She also pleaded with me to patronize her as well, saying she saw how frequently I bought from her neighbor. When my friend came back I told him about the woman and he said I could also buy things from her. After about a week, I decided to buy from her for the first time. It was already seven in the evening. I went to the shop and her son, who was barely seven or eight years old, sold the pure water bag to me. I paid him immediately and left. I was already in the kitchen cooking our dinner when I heard a voice calling my name outside the compound. I came downstairs. Lo and behold it was the woman I had just left her shop a few minutes earlier. She called me closer with a calm voice and asked me to please give her the phone I had collected from her shop. She said it was a phone her husband had recently bought for her. I was confused but told her that I did not see any phone. She left our compound and I told the people around what she had come for. I was still contemplating what had happened when she came back again, this time with a louder voice. She started calling me a thief and called on the entire neighborhood. They all came downstairs. I felt so embarrassed but I had to summon courage and remained calm. The neighbors started calling me one by one privately and asking me if I was with any phone. I told them I was not with any phone. My friend even promised to give me one hundred thousand naira if I could provide the phone, but I told him I was innocent. The following day the woman came to threaten me with arrest. By this time I was completely pained and embarrassed. She then said she would take me to a deity in Agbor where I would go and prove my innocence by swearing to the deity. I then called my dad and told him what had happened. He said I should not worry and that I should follow her to any place she wanted because nothing would happen to me since I was innocent. I then agreed to follow her to the place. People were already gathered and watching the whole drama. I went upstairs to my room. My friend came in and told me that the next morning we would be going to the deity. I said okay, that I was ready. The following morning, guess what happened? The woman who had embarrassed me came in with her husband to apologize to me. She said the missing phone had been found. I just kept calm. Crazy thoughts were coming to my head but I had to listen to my friend. He pleaded with me to forget about everything since the phone had been found. I did not want to take the matter further because it might affect his relationship with the landlord and getting another apartment in Asaba is not an easy task. Till date I am still grateful that the incident did not dent my name in the street. Watch these videos, you'll see when I wanted to raise my voice,my home boys and neighbors also did their best because they stood up for me

I was one of the witnesses who testified against a cult!st from my street in court. This guy has caused a lot of trouble in our neighborhood, and I was proud to stand as a witness against him. However, there is a problem. I was expecting the court to sentence him to life impr!sønment, but they did not. Instead, he was given only two years impr!sønment The law, what will happen to me when he is released in two years? Is this not an indirect D£@th sentence for me? Cos this guy will surely come for me How can the law protect me as a witness now? ​I am a landlord on this street with four daughters. If I were a tenant, I would simply pack up and relocate, but as a property owner, I am stuck. I am genuinely afraid. What is the way out for me?" ©️The People’s Parliament

@Hoereofe @Iameziokwu @carter6f @Darablaqie You’re spot on.

@Le_ccoushey @Iameziokwu @carter6f @Darablaqie Lol I completely understand you, boss. People like you are seldom mistaken as being arrogant or stubborn.

@Hoereofe @Iameziokwu @carter6f @Darablaqie Not really. I just hated being cheated and I am VERY VOCAL about any opinion I’m VERY CONVINCED ABOUT. I once refused to be punished on assembly for something I was certain I didn’t do. My dad was later invited to flog me on assembly. I no fit refuse. We later joked about it

@Le_ccoushey @Iameziokwu @carter6f @Darablaqie Na giran you be!!

@SirJarus There’s a subtle AGGRESSION you must possess to be a public speaker in Nigeria. It’s same show when you see Nigerians speaking on phone at times….loud and aggressive. Oyinbo will see that as an issue so you gats tone down and use their phoneee to speak to/with them

Between 2006 and 2015, the peak of Sahara Reporters being a thorn in the flesh of politicians in Nigeria, I knew Oga Sowore lived in the USA. In spite, I feared for his life. It takes a lot of courage to return to Nigeria and being everywhere in the public, from Lagos to Abuja to Ibadan. To the subject, it reminds me of my tweet of a few days ago about how public interactions in Nigeria make you lose your fonee over time 😀.

@Iameziokwu @carter6f @Darablaqie 2 Unis, 4 faculties just for BSc, I don’t blame the man o. I sabi myself.

@Le_ccoushey @carter6f @Darablaqie Imagine 😅 Thank God you have a father who can understand 🙏

@AdesolaSo If your brother pays the money, he will pay x50 when he want to marry her. It’s just litmus test to test his capacity

My brother’s fiancée’s father will be celebrating his 60th birthday next month. The man is a chief, and his fiancée is the firstborn in her family. Now, the family asked the lady to bring a cow, buy two different clothes for her father, and pay for the event hall to be used. Altogether, everything amounts to ₦4.5 million. The problem is that the lady is still looking for a job, while my brother is a banker. However, the family told her that my brother should step into the role of the son-in-law and handle the expenses. My brother called off the relationship yesterday. He said he is no longer interested. Is my brother a bad guy?

@Iameziokwu @carter6f @Darablaqie My dad travelled all the way to Abuja to confirm I worked in a bank. Baba no bliv say I even finish uni on top my wahala. I was called to my manager’s office to see my papa smiling.

Zlatan’s story is hilarious but deeply profound! It shows you the true character of traditional Nigerian parents. They rejected a whole ₦70 million house because their integrity and peace of mind were more important than sudden luxury. At the same time, it shows how hard it is for the older generation to understand the massive money in tech and entertainment. A huge respect to parents who still question the source of wealth!

@tyron_blaze @iamnasboi Dem don too run you street for Yaba

@iamnasboi When someone wipes their face with their shirt while convincing you, forget it, you are about losing your money

Number 1 promoter 🤣🤣❤️

@CHULLY1010 Afi keu

The return of Erekere and his family. I didn’t see Grandma coming 😂😂😭

@instablog9ja Many who do this have an UNDERSTANDING OF THE FORMATION EVALUATION OF THE AREA KNOWING THE DEPTH RANGE WHERE YOU CAN GET WATER. It’s pure guesswork. Best is to run electromagnetic survey for fracture point location and combine with electrical resistivity(Wenner, Schlum etc)

Borehole engineer shares how he locates water underground.

@DrStuff2 @talk2veee If na Lagos state, we go report am to @tokunbo_wahab make them arrest am for polluting. 🤣🤣🤣

@Le_ccoushey @talk2veee 😄😄😄 environmental pollution

Earlier this week, my neighbour and colleague, who had just completed his NYSC, told me he wanted to burn his NYSC uniform now that the programme was over. He complained that the entire experience was traumatic, the allowance was peanuts, and the whole year felt like a complete waste of time.I jokingly advised him to start using the uniform to mop the floor instead. A few hours later, I saw thick smoke coming from his backyard. Do you think he overreacted?

@DrStuff2 @talk2veee Abi nau. He just added more carbon print into the atmosphere for nothing.

@Le_ccoushey @talk2veee 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄