Jared

Just saying whatever pops into my little brain

Sorry I can't come to work today, I have Karmic Emotional Soul Trauma caused by Uranus

@dejathejovian Very Modern of you

In the realm of Pokémon TCG, an unopened pack exists in a quantum superposition, embodying both a God Pack and a non-God Pack simultaneously. Only upon opening does it collapse into one state. #SchrodingersGodPack

Like clockwork, mercury retrograde = printer troubles

@liberationastro Is an excess of black bile a preexisting condition?

i can't be insured due to my melancholic humors

Louis Pasteur did not die on the cross so yall could contact avian flu from Raw Milk.

Saw wicked

Aquarius! You're about to experience a MAJOR transformation with Pluto transiting through that sign. No shit. I'm gonna be 54 when this transit is over. If my life doesn't majorly transform between now and then... Astrology is fake anyway

@jeauxlean I see no problem. Only a humble farmer and their crops

i started this new playthrough on monday and just now i started year 2….. do you see the problem

i have a disease where every time i open stardew valley i black out for 2 weeks and cannot do anything else besides go to work.

@themercuryrise I knew it was over for me when they dropped the EP-1320 Medieval RIGHT after I bought Suzuki's new Omnichord 😭

@LeapingFish_ bro for real 😭 I've been saving up for the OP1 field, and now they drop this 🥲

I so fucking called it 🥲 there goes all my savings 💸

Wicked and Gladiator 2 coming to theaters on the same day is the gayest thing to ever happen in cinema. It's gay Barbenheimer Big day for the Eraste and Eromenos. Huge day for the arsenokoitai.

Does your friend have a Gale-sized hole that needs filling? Baldur’s Gate 3 is on sale with 20% off on Steam until 11/11

@AstronautPants_ @dejathejovian Don't even get me started on the "harvest parties" at the Christian school I went to

@jeauxlean Let me tell you something about Ross Dress for Less. Imagine if TJ Maxx was junkier and more of a treasure hunt

@LeapingFish_ now who the hell is ross

good afternoon maxxinistas and maxxinista adjacents

Going to start telling people that I met my husband during his initiation into the Orphic Cult I was a part of in college. (This is true)

Dinner tonight: Chicken thighs and rice with a white wine and mushroom cream sauce

I can't wait until December, so I can start giving daily reviews of the Bonne Maman Advent Calendar.

the police seem to be on the case and doing a thorough job of collecting evidence.