Lukas Brandon

A short clip of me showing off #isolation from a #contactjuggling perspective. Enjoy!

White on white eugenics. Or Joe Dirt, but PhD nerd shit.

@FleekFuturist @viemccoy

@viemccoy I refuse to believe that paradise is possible without cacti, red rock, & warped canyons 🏜️ Thank God that the Desert Sun protects it from the teeming masses 🫡

it really is indescribable how much better California is in basically every way. people born here just don't understand. Cape Cod (where I am from) is paradise for a few months out of the year and then basically purgatory for the rest of it. California is paradise forever

@DustBaker I ran the numbers for Rouse based on his Wikipedia page - 6 ft 3 and playing at 350 would give him a BMI of 43.7

@DustBaker I once met Curtis Rouse at a basketball Vikings versus local All-Stars game in the 1980s. A very large man, bet he was close to being on this list.

Biggest Vikings of All-Time, per Body Mass Index, min 10 Games Played: 1. Michael Pierce (48.1) 2. Jerry Ball (43.5) 3. Khyiris Tonga (43.0) 4. Taki Taimani (42.7) 5. Korey Stringer (42.6) 6. Dalvin Tomlinson (41.9) 7. Domonique Orange (41.3)* 8. T.J. Clemmings (41.0) *rookie

Happy Mother’s Day, Minnesota mamas! 💐

@WeatherBrew My girlfriend, Kalina, says "I don't disagree"

I mean ZZ Top kinda phoned it in and did cringe for a few decades but their swamp boogie was a game changer. All hook, vibe, and sauce.

@kiteandkeymedia I wonder if some of these licensing schemes arose from public nuisance complaints.

Until recently, it was illegal to work as a *florist* in Louisiana without first passing a written exam.

The most underrated thing you can say when someone is attacking you: "Help me understand." They came ready for a fight. You gave them a question. Their whole posture changes. Curiosity is the one weapon nobody prepares a defense for. Use it every time.

The Great Lakes Aquarium is seeking smelt donations for their river otters due to a wholesale smelt shortage. Staff said they would like to talk to anyone who donates about trading for aquarium tickets. 🐟🎟️🦦 northernnewsnow.com/2026/05/06/gre…

At a divorce paper signing… WOMAN: I regret ever joining that Star Wars dating app MAN: You were looking for love in Alderaan places WOMAN: And I really regret marrying a Star Wars pun addict MAN: It was a wookie mistake WOMAN: Just sign it MAN, SIGNING: May divorce be with you

Everything happens at the right time, in the right way...

My heart is full. I made a beautiful woman smile and seemingly agree to assault fireman. 🤣 Calling it quits for tonight. I love this place. This as beautiful as I get. ❤️

@JessicaVaugn @newstart_2024 Seriously? Just go to the fire department and throw a rock at the one you want. When he comes to provide him water and ask him if he's ok. You'll have a December wedding. You're a goddamn super model! Just grab some guy by the tie. We're idiots! 😂

Warming up in a local Minnesota park for the rally with @peggyflanagan.

"Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." — Christopher Hitchens

@HistoryBoomer A lot of people basically think cost of living never means making a sacrifice on preferences. So if can't get apartment one wants, vacations one wants, and going out as much as they want, they can't afford to live there.

$4k on strippers? Are they charging by the glitter particles? Men are ridiculous. 😂

I mean his name is literally Ben Jealous.

@AndreaLynnLewis Death means the end of the conscious self. The afterlife is identical to the pre-life, in that it is not consciously experienced. As the great Willie Nelson sings, "I didn't come here and I ain't leaving, so don't you sit around and cry, just Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die."