LukeTheRunner

Hope everyone loves normal pictures of cats, where he’s not possessed and is just a normal cat who won’t cause retinal damage

@70s90s Was it literally the Fresh Linen glade plug-in

you’re worried about asking what song is playing on aux i’m in dms asking for their home scent that i can’t forget from 6 months ago

I just want @kenmore to give me one million US dollars and they can have full use of this tweet

@perfectlyfine89 In (American) HS German my teacher just randomly gave a few people in the class German names. She would say “Hi Luke, good morning” and then to Mike “Guten Morgen, Herr Mee-Shy-Ell!”

Idk if y’all did it but in our language classes during high school, we would pick a name from that culture (i.e. mine was Colette in French) Do other countries learning English do this? Y’all calling yourselves Kyle and Brittany over there?

@AndersonBobo_ That happened at Pre one year. It’s like the announcer was told “you’re only allowed to talk about jumps for five seconds, NO MATTER WHAT.” And then the entire crowd is electric about every single long jump and the announcer has to be like “now checking in athletes for the 3k.”

The strangest thing about the ncaa meet is the jumps area was going nuts, crowd insane, and the in stadium announcer wouldn’t even say a word about it.

@willnoon Good news: it’s actually almost 8 months

This is the best time of year because I get 6 months of my car’s clock being correct.

I’m not diagnosed but if I went through the last three years of the group chat and put all the “crying laughing” emojis in a spreadsheet and crunched the numbers to prove I’m the funniest does that mean I’m on the spectrum

Many elite distance runners have horrible flexibility. They can't come close to touching their toes. Why? A stiff spring can be beneficial. Some research found the worse you do in the sit and reach test, the better your running economy.

Chris Fleming has the most specific niche audience possible (complimentary)

@lachancenaomi27 youtu.be/hJ9yBgTp9UQ?si…

Five years ago men actually sent you money

In the UK ass is donkey and arse is butt, but in the US ass is donkey or butt. So if you say a guy’s an ass and you’re talking to a Brit, you gotta specify whether the guy was acting stubborn like a donkey or acting stinky like a butt.

I was gonna google What does the sweeping do in curling But I don’t want the surveillance state to judge me

⚾ REPOST TO WIN ⚾️ It’s Muny’s birthday and we are celebrating by giving away a signed baseball! For a chance to win an autographed Andrés Muñoz baseball just hit that repost button.

⚾️ REPOST TO WIN ⚾️ To celebrate Julio’s birthday, we are giving away a signed baseball! All you have to do is hit that repost button to enter!

@pants Why do I hear “lil what?” In falsetto

Stephon Castle has to be the most annoying player in the League (complimentary)

fascism srsly wtf

@SlidersFanBlog @usweekly SSSLLLIIIDDDEEERRRSSS

@usweekly He's also a Sliders legend.

Jerry O'Connell proved he's a die-hard and committed baseball fan during the 2025 World Series. usmagazine.com/entertainment/…

@shakeitupbabyy It was us. But baseball is 70% luck. We were more well-rounded and prepared, I swear it. Play the game 100 times, we win 56. That’s what I believe. I’m just sad that this was our shot and I’m looking to 2049 (hope I’m wrong but I’ve been a fan for so long that I’m in a bad place)

One day, that will be us, and when it happens, we will be a more well-rounded and prepared team. The boys gave us EVERYTHING! Don't feel bad about this season but be excited for next year! 🔥

@minakimes MLB postseason is so cruel. I can’t imagine a better Mariners team than this (is that bad? How could I expect anything better when I’ve been a fan since 93?).

Welp. That one’s gonna hurt for a while. Love love love this team, though. Bring back Naylor and let’s run this shit back.