YP🪖

We used to pay real money for ringtones and now if my phone makes a noise it ruins my day

If high gas prices upset you, remember it's a small price to pay for a nuke that didn't exist and a Strait that was already open

I knew twitter was a lawless place when someone posted their flight confirmation and someone else called up and cancelled their flight.

Women get mostly infertile at 40, but live to be 80. Without a family, what are you going to do with those 40 long long years?

Y’all ruined the people who genuinely dated for love. Now y’all stuck with the one's who only date for money and materialistic shit

Are any drug dealers hiring for a receptionist or something idk

One of the more frustrating autistic experiences is being seen as complaining when you’re simply describing something that happened to you.

why tf are americans saying "half a dozen" just say six bruh 😭😭

soon as them lips hit my neck i’m going

What do you want your final words to be?

long distance relationship with parents is so healthy.

the urge to stay up late every night because everything is so peaceful at night.

The way my hair sticks up after sleep looks like art.what bedhead moment are you proud of?.

I arrived at the hotel at 11:30 PM after a very long tiring trip. All I wanted was my room key and to finally sleep. The man in front of me was shouting at the receptionist because they lost his reservation. When it was my turn I gave my ID and confirmation. The lady checked her system sighed and said “Sorry we are overbooked I can only give you a standard room.” I politely reminded her I had prepaid for a deluxe room three months ago. She looked at me coldly and replied…

My hungry ass though this was a cheesecake

Everything about this is so fucking disgustingggggg. This is why people hate Boy Moms… 👇

Bro to bro: She can't leave you if you leave first, be wise.

Stressed out 😫, I need two girls to run a train on me 😭😫

Does anyone else do that thing while reading where your eyes are like 3 lines ahead of where your brain is? I mean skipping to the next paragraph and not being able to stop yourself from reading a few lines but then you have to go back to where you were before and try really hard to read in a linear fashion but it's boring now that you know what happens next?

LADIES why would you date a man that can't give you head? Come suck from where I piss out.

ride a nigga dick & hold his neck like you wanna choke him or something