Fake Major Biden

Got out of the Twitter Kennel with some minor changes

Free Britney

@IAMS Cats are the worst

Waiting for your cat to do what you want? You could be waiting a long time! After all, cats gonna cat.

Thank you Nashville and @BradPaisley for turning out last night in support of getting everyone vaccinated against COVID! More vaccines in arms means more open mic nights, music festivals, and all the concerts that make this town so special. Together, #WeCanDoThis

Does anyone know where my parents are? It's been days since I've seen them and last I heard they were going to someone's wall.

Champ was responsible for this crappy situation. nypost.com/2021/03/31/pre…

Back with the family at the house with the big lawn. people.com/politics/joe-b…

Mom says I can come out of time-out but I can only post positive stuff.

First Dogs Beat. Major (left) was involved in an incident last week that was not described further and both dogs are back in Delaware while @FLOTUS is traveling through Wednesday. One official says dogs are expected to return to WH.

@TheOvalPawffice @FLOTUS @NaomiBiden @DrBiden This is false. I bit that member of the Security detail and am profusely sorry for my errant action. I will do better in the future. I haven't messed up dad's foot in months.

🐾 Champ here, to defend my brother: Major does not bite and he’s not pawggressive, you’ve all seen him in numerous videos surrounded by media and staff. We are USUALLY sent to Delaware when mom @FLOTUS is not at the WH - she left Monday afternoon for a two day trip. Awoooof!

@DebAbides Which security detail member did your friend's dog bite? Was it Russell? I bet it was Russell....

@MajorBiden a friend's young German Shepherd behaved just like you, got training and is enjoying life. He even jumped on me but I knew he was protecting his human. We love you and wish you the best.

@vbontempi Aging?!?! Since when does "3" count as aging? Aging...

Aging dog, new environment, active and highly charged environment. I'm in camp @MajorBiden but I am sorry to hear that someone was bitten. I bet Joe & Jill will miss having the dogs around.

@DJester89 bit one of the security detail guys

@MajorBiden What did you do?

I take full responsibility for my actions. I would like to take a moment and caution those who seek to blame the victim of this heinous act. There's never an excuse for this sort of violence. I'll be in time-out in Delaware for a while.

@marcorubio Those schools are still open but engaged in distanced learning. They need funding like everyone else. Either you're uninformed about this or you're being a clown again. Malarky.

Tonight Democrats voted to send re-opening money to schools that refuse to re-open.

@babslights Guilty as charged....

@MajorBiden You’re looking for squirrels and you know it.

I wonder if it'll ever be warm outside again.

Dad vibes. #swagger #CompromiseForTheGreaterGood