Jake Williams

A marketing director discovered that P1 Critical tickets have a 15-minute response SLA. He started logging all his routine tickets as P1. Yesterday he submitted a P1 because his wireless keyboard needed new batteries. According to our enterprise SLA, P1 incidents require an immediate, continuous all-hands bridge call until resolution. He submitted the ticket at 11 PM. I initiated the emergency bridge. Our automated system dialed his cell phone, his desk phone, and his emergency contact. It woke up his wife. He joined the call in a panic, asking what was on fire. I told him we were assembled to resolve his critical keyboard outage. I asked him to describe the battery compartment. He hung up. Our SLA policy states that if the user disconnects from a P1 bridge, we must call them back immediately. I called him back. He asked me to downgrade the ticket. I told him P1s can only be downgraded after a post-incident root cause analysis. He buys his own batteries now.

You can hate Iranian leaders for their (many) heinous acts of terror. You can believe Iran cannot be allowed to build a nuclear weapon. You can be mad about the price of oil due to the Strait of Hormuz. None of that excuses threatening to wipe out a whole civilization.