Kelly Minion

Child: OMG it’s Chappell Roan Security Guard:

@P_Kallioniemi Dont forget about the couches!

Yeah, historically registered JD Vance as an immature crybaby

NOW THAT I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM OFFICIALLY PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (THANK YOU DONALD!), I HAVE MANY BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE! FIRST, EVERY TRUMP EXECUTIVE ORDER IS NULL AND VOID, STEPHEN MILLER AND EVERY TRUMP GOON IS FIRED, AND THE TRUMP CORRUPTION PROBE IS OFFICIALLY LAUNCHED! HEALTH CARE IS NOW FREE FOR ALL AMERICANS (NO MEASLES!) AND ALL MOMS GET FREE CHILDCARE SO WE CAN HAVE MORE BABIES!!! ALSO CANNABIS IS NOW LEGAL AND ABORTION IS BACK FOR WOMEN WHO WANT IT. I WILL SOON BE BANNING ALL TICKETMASTER FEES AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE COMMERCIALS ALLOWED DURING NBA AND NFL GAMES, AS WELL AS ALL BRAVO “REAL HOUSEWIVES” SHOWS (LONGER EPISODES!). EVERY AMERICAN FAMILY NOW GETS A “TARIFF AND GAS SPIKE REFUND” TO BUY A CHEAP ELECTRIC CAR! THE COUNTRY IS NOW RUN BY SOMEONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY COMPLETE A SENTENCE. AMERICA IS NOW “HOT” BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DYSLEXIC PRESIDENT INSTEAD OF A BRAIN-DEAD ONE. BIG UPGRADE!!! — GOVERNOR GCN

@GovPressOffice This would actually be a great start. Some actual maternity leave, higher taxes on the uber wealthy, lots of things I cant think of right now

@nexta_tv See ya Nexta. Some worthless slop you've been pushing lately

🇮🇱 IDF just gut-punched Iran’s war machine 80+ jets. 230 bombs. 🔺Direct hit on Imam Hossein University — IRGC’s top officer academy + secret reserve base. Tehran is burning. 🔺 Underground ballistic missile factory & storage obliterated. 🔺 All major launch sites in west & central Iran destroyed. This is what happens when you poke the lion.

@Devin_Heroux @CBCOlympics @HockeyCanada Nova scotiaaaaa

In a short time from now alarms are going to be going off all across Canada. Maybe some have already The men’s hockey game between Canada and USA is one hour away ROLLLLLLL CALLLLLL — Let’s hear you Canada. Where you’re watching and cheering from?

@kurt13warner I think it's pretty cut and dry honestly. It's obviously an interception, but to me it looks like Cooks would have made the catch if he was by himself. He wasn't and he didn't, so Denver ball. Heck of a play and God bless Bo Nix

It’s actually not by the definition of a catch “when going to the ground”, which is the KEY component of this play! If Cooks is NOT deemed going to the ground then you are 💯 correct it’s a catch & touched down without a doubt! But when deemed going to the ground, I still have questions on how exactly that is determined, which he is here, he MUST complete the catch until the play is over: Survive the ground! I do believe he very well might “survive the ground” here but B4 he gets the opp to do that the defender takes the ball from him & is the one who ends up with the ball at the end of the play! Thus, with the ball never touching the ground, must be called in INT!

@NASAMars @POTUS Embarrassing

Thanks to @POTUS’ leadership, the exploration of Mars is no longer a distant hope, it’s a national objective. One year into his second term, President Trump’s national space policy has provided a clear vision for American leadership in space, and has sharpened our focus on the science, technology, and capabilities needed to reach the Red Planet, like nuclear propulsion and surface power. With that direction, NASA teams are moving with purpose to turn today’s innovation into tomorrow’s next giant leap.

@TheNamana98 @ArcRaiderAlerts I accept your terms

@Mapeion @ArcRaiderAlerts Or those who have had hands on already , have made their decision Oyy!

Marathon, Bungie’s upcoming extraction shooter, is releasing on March 5, 2026. Pre-orders are available now: 🔸Standard Edition: $40 🔸Deluxe Edition: $60 Will you be buying?

The best plays have a name. I introduce to you.... The Mile High Heist.

Between the fall of Iran and the elimination of the Kansas City Chiefs it’s been a rough stretch for enemies of America.

Five years later, the attack on the Capitol on January 6th, 2021, remains a stain on our nation's history. It was an assault on the very foundation of our democracy – the right for Americans to choose their leaders. It should be a lasting reminder that we cannot take America for granted. Now more than ever, it's important that all Americans stand together to protect and strengthen our democracy.

Four generations of my family have served our country. Service is in my blood. The President wouldn’t know anything about that.

Ukraine is at the forefront of today’s global fight for democracy, and I welcome this chance to contribute on an unpaid basis as an economic advisor to President Zelensky. In accepting this voluntary position, I will be stepping aside from my role as the Prime Minister’s Special Representative for the Reconstruction of Ukraine. In the coming weeks I will also leave my seat in Parliament. I want to thank my constituents for their years of confidence in me. I am so grateful to have been your representative.

Over twenty-five years in the U.S. Navy, thirty-nine combat missions, and four missions to space, I risked my life for this country and to defend our Constitution – including the First Amendment rights of every American to speak out. I never expected that the President of the United States and the Secretary of Defense would attack me for doing exactly that. My rank and retirement are things that I earned through my service and sacrifice for this country. I got shot at. I missed holidays and birthdays. I commanded a space shuttle mission while my wife Gabby recovered from a gunshot wound to the head– all while proudly wearing the American flag on my shoulder. Generations of servicemembers have made these same patriotic sacrifices for this country, earning the respect, appreciation, and rank they deserve. Pete Hegseth wants to send the message to every single retired servicemember that if they say something he or Donald Trump doesn’t like, they will come after them the same way. It’s outrageous and it is wrong. There is nothing more un-American than that. If Pete Hegseth, the most unqualified Secretary of Defense in our country’s history, thinks he can intimidate me with a censure or threats to demote me or prosecute me, he still doesn’t get it. I will fight this with everything I’ve got — not for myself, but to send a message back that Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump don’t get to decide what Americans in this country get to say about their government.

Division champs 👀

There’s more evidence Trump is a pedophile than there is evidence that those boats he blew up were even drug boats.

Hi Scott, I was a deployed squadron commander in OEF and OIF in 2002 and 2003. But I’ve never been convicted of soliciting a minor like you have.

In tonight's win over the Chiefs, Broncos QB Bo Nix became the ONLY QB in NFL history with 20+ wins, 7,500+ pass yards and 50+ pass TD in his first two seasons.