Marcus Joel Grazier

Hate when people ask me "wuu2" at like 11 o'clock at night, like am changing the batteries in Big Ben what ya think am doing dickhead.

There's a paws in the game to deal with a pitch invader. Here's the purrpatrator. 👀😺

Premier League 2017/18 table - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 18. Swansea P38 Pts 33 19. Stoke P38 Pts 33 20. West Brom P38 Pts 31 #wwfc have 35pts from 24 games IT’S JANUARY 29th!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🤣🐺

The wife was trying to be sexy for me last night. When I came up the stairs, I found her lying naked on the bed, licking a lollipop. Then she slipped it up her fanny... I said, "Careful with that, love. You'll need it to help the children across the road tomorrow!"

I’m fully convinced we have a gspot in our ears, cotton bud cleans are a vibe 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Chris Brown smacked the shit out of Rihanna, stalked and harassed Karrueche to the point she had to get a restraining order, is now being accused of rape and STILL I’m seeing men talk about the ‘world being out to get him’ and the fact he doesn’t ‘need’ to rape anyone 😐😐😑

Bit rich coming from a club that hasn't delivered since 1992...

@ellajayhingleyx These "scientists" chat too much man I swear 😂

@ellajayhingleyx This can't be true, you don't hold the smoke in your lungs do you, you breath it back out, so it doesn't do as much damage as this, plus our lungs are not made of cotton wool

@chloebridge1 Runs in the family then!

Just been liking and unliking shit for the past 20 mins fascinated by this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me too Hun, me too

There’s nothing better on TV than the chase that’s a fact #thechase

Rarrrrrr

And it's dropped! Big movement, watch out

When my girlfriend makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail. It heals me spiritually

This shit so littttt!

This Christmas advert has been banned from TV for being too political. I think what's happening to our rain forests should be banned for being criminal to life on earth. This needs to be the most viewed Christmas advert ever! Do your best Twitter!

If your mom doesn't still buy you an advent calendar then you're probably adopted

i enjoy eatin Toast in bed so i can roll around in all the crumbs an pretend im a chicken goujon