Matt Bron
811 posts
Matt Bron
@MattBronNZ
geek, ex biker, surfer, cancer survivor x 2. lucky to be around and pleased about it. foodie, red wine aficionado.
New Zealand Katılım Mart 2020
142 Takip Edilen44 Takipçiler
NZ Twitter: are you eating 15 meat pies a year?
Or more?
Daniel 🦔@DanielW_Kiwi
Australians eat an average of 12 meat pies per year, roughly 270 million nationally. While New Zealanders eat even more, averaging 15 pies per person, totalling about 66 million a year. More recent data bumps that NZ figure up: 2020 data from Food Standards Australia/New Zealand put the number of pies eaten in New Zealand at just over 74 million for that year, more per capita than any other country.
English
@insiderugbymark Not even ow. Until this weekend I thought he had more than a sniff but his 2nd half was how you lose tests. D-Mac however was good shit. BB also showed enough to say 'hold my beer'
English
Matt Bron retweetledi
@it_unprofession Felt obliged to try a smart watch. 6 months of badgering and having it go flat on trips because I'd forgotten to pack its charger I flagged it - back to something svelte that tells time and *just goes*
English
My fitness tracker told me my sleep score last night was a 12 out of 100.
It suggested I prioritize recovery today.
I have a toddler and a mortgage.
I can't prioritize recovery.
The app specifically noted that my stress levels peaked at 3 AM.
That was when I was trying to remember if I paid the water bill.
Now my watch is buzzing every hour telling me to stand up.
I'm on a six-hour flight in a middle seat.
If I stand up, I'll assault the man sleeping next to me.
I took the watch off and put it in my carry-on bag.
An hour later, the app congratulated me on lowering my resting heart rate.
It thinks I achieved total zen.
In reality, I'm just a ghost to the algorithm now.
I paid $300 to be bullied by a lithium-ion battery.
English
@JamesBlunt Dunno that I can forgive "that" song but IMHO you seem like a good cnt
English
Sorry. I just want to be liked.
Anon Opin.@anon_opin
One of the saddest things about the social media era is finding out that the musicians, actors and comedians you liked are rotten cunts.
English
@Chewbaccasbeard @TerniL90896 @fesshole 30 years or so ago Stella was a good beer. So was Heineken (true story)
English
@TerniL90896 @fesshole It was always shit. ABV doesn’t confer quality.
English
One of my pub customers' wives won't let him drink Stella. When they come in and go straight to the bar together he dutifully orders himself a pint of Coors. For all subsequent rounds when he comes back to the bar to get the drinks, he has Stella in a Coors glass.
English
Met the farm's new bank manager on Friday. She brought sausage rolls. Well played @ANZAotearoa @AntoniaWatsonNZ
English
@brumby_fan @KoroTeeps Yeah nah, even with blinkers on it I can't see that being a happening thing.
English
@KoroTeeps Should still make the finals but can’t stop the tahs next week
English
@KnockoutKiwi So that’s like what $2k/year? Depends on your baseline I guess. Probs worth a discussion
English
Shall I resign from my job after only receiving a $1 an hour increase?
English
@josephewing80 @it_unprofession Not in any company I've worked for. Maybe it's you?
English
@it_unprofession No wonder office staff at most companies hate those of us in IT.
Assholes like you.
Did it ever occur to you to walk up to him like a man and make your case?
English
One of my coworkers always takes the last pod from the Keurig without replacing the box.
It happened again today.
I waited until he left for lunch.
Switched his mouse batteries with dead ones.
He spent 20 minutes troubleshooting.
He asked IT for help.
I walked by and "fixed" it by putting fresh batteries in.
He thanked me profusely.
I smiled and said, "No problem, just like replacing Keurig pods."
He hasn't touched the machine since.
Victory tastes like slightly bitter office coffee.
English
