Matthew Hackett

Hoping my plan to aquire Flash powers in the storm tonight pays off better than when I microwaved a spider then provoked it in to bitting me

Have come to the conclusion. As @scarlets_rugby was the Region to vote largest Reform they should be the one the @WelshRugbyUnion axe as they clearly the least Welsh. Save a lot of time and effort

Artemis II crew is thousands of miles away from Earth And they’re asking ground crew for help because they have two versions of Microsoft Outlook open and neither is working This scene is now canon 😭

Wales fans loudly booed “God Save The King” before their match with Northern Ireland tonight. They drowned out the anthem with chants of “Wales, Wales”…😬🫣

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris counted to infinity—twice. When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up—he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Chuck Norris can hear sign language. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on—he turns the dark off. The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead—it's just afraid to move. Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys. Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. Chuck Norris doesn't play hide and seek. He plays hide and pray I don't find you. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck Norris can speak Braille. Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry. Aliens are real. They're just afraid to come to Earth because Chuck Norris lives here. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Chuck Norris can win a staring contest with his eyes closed. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful it can be seen from space by the naked eye. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. Chuck Norris can drown a fish. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand. Chuck Norris can make onions cry. Chuck Norris doesn't age—he levels up. Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with real cards. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube. Chuck Norris doesn't do refunds. You do. Chuck Norris can microwave popcorn by staring at it. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Chuck Norris doesn't vacuum. He scares the dirt away. Chuck Norris can hear sign language over the phone. Chuck Norris doesn't spell-check. Words conform to him. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter. Chuck Norris can parallel park in two moves. Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Locations report to him. Chuck Norris doesn't need sleep—he recharges by staring at the sun. Chuck Norris doesn't need food. Food needs Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't need a belt. Gravity submits to him. Chuck Norris can make a campfire with wet wood and attitude. Chuck Norris doesn't need a parachute. Gravity is afraid to pull him down. Chuck Norris doesn't need Wi-Fi. The internet connects to him. Chuck Norris can solve a Rubik's Cube by staring at it. Chuck Norris doesn't need a map. Maps need Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen. Oxygen needs Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can make a mime talk. Chuck Norris can make a ghost haunt itself. Chuck Norris doesn't need a mirror. Mirrors reflect what he allows. Chuck Norris can make lightning ask for permission. Chuck Norris doesn't need a shadow. Shadows follow him. Chuck Norris doesn't need luck. Luck needs Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick the future into the past. Chuck Norris doesn't tell jokes. Jokes tell Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square. 👊🏻 RIP, Absolute Legend!

🤣This is a hilarious montage of Chuck Norris jokes. If you think about it, he really was the first 80’s action hero and pretty much started the genre of 80’s and 90’s action movies.

OMG 💀🤣😂 This is bloody hilarious 🤣

@SeneddWaste Let’s go back to the good old days where the Welsh sung happily as they climbed the hills to mine the black gold for just below minimum wage!!! Vote Reform

Plaid Cymru will legalise drugs.

Stunning Catherine, The Princess of Wales at Twickenham Stadium today, cheering on England as they face Ireland in the Six Nations Championship, proudly backing the team in her role as patron of England Rugby.

@elonmusk Can’t remember the last time I worried about my 4 year old being shot in his classroom with a machine gun.

Yes

@elonmusk If your ancestors where English then you are not native British. Dos i grafu oddi wrth y Gymru. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Our ancestral land of Britain must not fall

Andrew Mountbatten this morning, mistakenly thinking he’d been sent an early surprise on his birthday.

I love Captain Jean-Luc Picard. He's my favourite character in all of #StarTrek. He's my role model! 😊 #StarTrekTNG's "Where SIlence Has Lease"↖️, "Cause and Effect"↗️, "Silicon Avatar"↙️, "Lonely Among Us"↘️.

@EdwardJDavey Some of the U.K. troops who “stayed a little back, off the front lines” coming home to Royal Wootton Bassett:

457 British troops lost their lives in Afghanistan. Trump avoided military service 5 times. How dare he question their sacrifice. Farage and all the others still fawning over Trump should be ashamed.

@TheTrekCentral Thought it was pretty good. Got the comedy spin and lessons learnt that TNG era had. People just finding issues with anything now. Didn’t feel anything was rammed down throat like Dr Who floundered with. It was portrayed as just normal in society.

🔥 What Did YOU Think of #StarTrek: #StarfleetAcademy Episode 3 "Vitus Reflux" 🤎 LOVED IT? 😅 It Was Okay... 😢 Did Not Like it! REPLY with your thoughts! - No Spoilers 🖖

@jadziasolo @TheTrekCentral Pretty sure that was a Romulan… and did you ever see the Baseball episode of DS9 or how Spock was constantly a dick to McCoy

@TheTrekCentral And this is when I stopped watching. I expected Vulcans to be less…hateful.

@RepLuna @X So you agree with distributing child porn?

If Starmer is successful in banning @X in Britain, I will move forward with legislation that is currently being drafted to sanction not only Starmer, but Britain as a whole. This would mirror actions previously taken by the United States in response to foreign governments restricting the platform, including the dispute with Brazil in 2024–2025, which resulted in tariffs, visa revocations, and sanctions and consequences tied to free speech concerns against Brazilian officials over concerns related to censorship and free-speech violations. Starmer should reconsider this course of action, or there will be consequences. There are always technical bugs during the early phases of new technology, especially AI, and those issues are typically addressed quickly. X treats these matters seriously and acts promptly. Let’s be clear: this is not about technical compliance. This is a political war against @elonmusk and free speech—nothing more.

Americans spouting shit about the Danes is the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard. 1 is descended from a mighty warrior people feared and admired across the globe. The other a bunch of religious nutters who have been in a constant state of mass hysteria. #Greenland