Mayreu

@Appyg99 Frozen yougurt would like a word

Soulva being so popular on Doordash is a sign of SF's lack of variety when it comes to quick dining options. Their meats are drier than sand, their kale is rigid and bitter. It's such mid office-worker slop.

@DietCoke_Esq No 2 : How dare you!?

@DietCoke_Esq Interrogatory no 1: are you ok?! 😜

Friend who quit her lawyer job because she didn’t want to be a lawyer anymore. Celebrating her new lawyer job as a lawyer!! Very mentally stable over here

@k_sens94 Yes

@covie_93 No women

US is at war and the Secretary of State is DJing at a wedding.

@lady_valor_07 Yes!

@amanonhisown Heull! I could watch his shows all day on Sunday.

How many Californians know who this man is? 🤨

@JohnnyVomits @RonFilipkowski Came here to say exactly this. You beat me to the punch!

@RonFilipkowski He's going to eat it, isn't he?

RFK Jr caught a starling at the Dulles Airport today. I don’t want to know what happened after.

@HSRdirector I’m going to my parents and taking the ladders to the dumpster! Thanks for the reminder

I’ve witnessed a lot of harm done to my patients from various expected things like cigarettes, guns etc but I never imagined how much harm I would see in my adult patients from ladders. LADDERS. so much devastation

@AMandoSch And why are they $150 dollars? For house slippers?

How does this work exactly?

@joncoopertweets Why do his legs look so skinny?

Who the fuck dresses JD Vance?

@Kgadi_yaMoloto A little bit of Botox in your mid 40s. Instant confidence boost

GIRLS ONLY… what did you do to your appearance that upgraded you 100% and you kinda regret not doing it earlier? Please be honest, let’s interact.

@be_like_ice Mostly a pleasure, though sometimes I can be a real pain

Are you a "pleasure to have in class" neurodivergent or a "wasted potential, needs discipline" neurodivergent.

@shawngorham He’s cute. I’m more of a jeep wagoner gal though

Meet my brother, he buys old Lancruisers and fixes them up as a hobby. He in education for a living. Ladies... hes single too but he cant afford to send you flowers every week... but he can take you out driving in really old landcruisers.

@omgsidewalks Perimenopause

What’s the phase of life called, when you don’t want to leave the house? And you don’t want anyone coming over to the house.

@EliMcCann The baby has Birks!? Adorable

Hiking with a toddler, where you advance 25 feet per hour.

@atrupar Where are injured troops going to go if not Landsthul? Get real

Q: Why is the US removing troops from Germany? TRUMP: We're gonna cut way down. And we're cutting a lot further than 5,000

@VlynnQ Beautiful . Your mom is a gem. The world needs more people like her.

My mom plays bunko. At 72, she’s the youngest in her bunko group. Most of the other ladies are widowed, so they would rotate from house to house each week to play. But then everything started getting expensive, and my mom noticed that the snack and gift offerings at bunko were getting sparse, and she knew even that was putting a strain on the ladies’ budgets. So she came up with a plan… She didn’t want to let them know she knew, and they wouldn’t take charity if they knew she knew, so instead she used my dad. She told them all that as my dad’s health is failing she doesn’t want to leave him for extended periods of time, so could they all just come to her house every week for bunko for a while? Then her dog had surgery, so she kept it going. Now for the past 2+ years my mom feeds a dozen elderly ladies a full meal every week and sends them home with leftovers, snacks and little gifts. No one talks about why, and they’re all happy.

@ThrillaRilla369 MTV

To those who grew up without the internet… how did you DEAL with BOREDOM at home?

@luvblessingz @_alyssssssac This is the most wholesome tweet I’ve read on this hell site

No matter how slow the elderly person ahead of you in line is, and no matter your hurry, when they turn and apologize you always smile gently and say take your time. ALWAYS.