MetalJesus

@_6signxxx Mighty racist of you to think only Hispanics do these jobs.

white people your time is now!!! go apply since hispanics are always "stealing jobs"

@AzPetrich You’re quite pathetic if the first thing you think of when you wake up is “is he dead, yet?” Time to get a life. Go outside. Do something with yourself.

OMFG. WHY. DOES. EVERYONE. DIE. BUT. THE. ONE. MAN. WE. ALL. WANT. DEAD?!?!?! ARRRGGGHHHH.

@MancowMuller Chuck Norris hit 11 out 10 targets with 9 bullets.

Chuck Norris was a friend of mine. He picked me one time to host one of his big-time Hollywood movie premieres. I forgot the movie except that it had that kid that committed suicide (Jonathon Brandis) and a dog.) Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris counted to infinity—twice. When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up—he's pushing the Earth down. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Chuck Norris can hear sign language. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on—he turns the dark off. The flu gets a Chuck Norris shot every year. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead—it's just afraid to move. Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys. Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. Chuck Norris doesn't play hide and seek. He plays hide and pray I don't find you. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck Norris can speak Braille. Chuck Norris can make a Happy Meal cry. Aliens are real. They're just afraid to come to Earth because Chuck Norris lives here. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Chuck Norris can win a staring contest with his eyes closed. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful it can be seen from space by the naked eye. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. Chuck Norris can drown a fish. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand. Chuck Norris can make onions cry. Chuck Norris doesn't age—he levels up. Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with real cards. Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube. Chuck Norris doesn't do refunds. You do. Chuck Norris can microwave popcorn by staring at it. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Chuck Norris doesn't vacuum. He scares the dirt away. Chuck Norris can hear sign language over the phone. Chuck Norris doesn't spell-check. Words conform to him. Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter. Chuck Norris can parallel park in two moves. Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Locations report to him. Chuck Norris doesn't need sleep—he recharges by staring at the sun. Chuck Norris doesn't need food. Food needs Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't need a belt. Gravity submits to him. Chuck Norris can make a campfire with wet wood and attitude. Chuck Norris doesn't need a parachute. Gravity is afraid to pull him down. Chuck Norris doesn't need Wi-Fi. The internet connects to him. Chuck Norris can solve a Rubik's Cube by staring at it. Chuck Norris doesn't need a map. Maps need Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen. Oxygen needs Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can make a mime talk. Chuck Norris can make a ghost haunt itself. Chuck Norris doesn't need a mirror. Mirrors reflect what he allows. Chuck Norris can make lightning ask for permission. Chuck Norris doesn't need a shadow. Shadows follow him. Chuck Norris doesn't need luck. Luck needs Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick the future into the past. Love ya Chuck!

@NFLNumbersGuy They’re not the packers or cowboys

Say something NICE about the Carolina Panthers

@Teezerohero Yall complain about racism when liberals hate white people.

He was also a racist Republican 😂

@MadOldMoai Yall just look for ANYTHING to shit on someone just because they don’t share your shitty little views.

Before posting about Chuck Norris we need to remember that he was a huge Israel advocate, supported banning gay marriage, endorsed the sexual predator Roy Moore and, in all honesty, was not that great of a human being. He's a reminder that actors are not always their characters.

@LibertyCappy Chuck Norris had a bear rug. The bear wasn’t dead, he was just afraid to move in chucks presence.

CHUCK NORRIS MEME THREAD TO END ALL MEME THREADS Let's honor one of the GOAT's by dropping your BEST Memes and Chuck Norris jokes! 👇👇👇

@ABmrJutt Just like every president before and after.

They’ll ban abortion to “protect life” Then ignore: – school sh*otings – Black maternal mortality – kids in cages – hunger – climate collapse Tell me again how this is about life.

@SteveLovesAmmo Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokémon cards.

Let’s honor Chuck Norris today. Give me your best Chuckism. I’ll start: Chuck Norris doesn’t do pushups. He pushes the earth away.

@honeymoon250 Yeah, I’d choose a dog over 97% of the population regardless of race. I don’t even like dogs very much.

Be honest, white people. Will you choose a dog 🐕 over a refugee or a Muslim?

@qLxke_ @rendowgird Chuck Norris won the World Series of poker. Using Pokemon cards.

read through the qrts and replies if you want to experience what the internet was like 15 years ago

@bluesummers117 @TheSaurus831 That may be true, but until it actually does, it still isn’t as bad as what it was.

@MetalJesus2 @TheSaurus831 Don’t worry it’ll only get worse

Gas $4.55 a gallon next to my house Thanks entirely to the dumbest pieces of shit I’ve ever interacted with in life

@MbarkCherguia Him and Kevin hart.

I’ll go first… Seth Rogan

@MagaGrunt1 I’m more worried about people that think they know more than everyone else, but they don’t know shit.

🇺🇸Not trying to alarm anyone, but is anyone else worried about how fucking stupid everyone is??🇺🇸

@shanshao1104 Men jerk it to trees if it looks like a pussy.

do men really jack off to ur picss when they have a crush on u.. 🫣

@SteveLovesAmmo I’m going with a fish.

You couldn’t have found an animal that is less dangerous? Like a snail or something.

@j00ny369T Hell yeah

I felt bad for the tree

@AlTheBoss03 Billy Hamilton. The one born in 1990, not 1866.

Name a random leadoff hitter. Could be a legend… could be a guy only real fans remember. Let’s see how deep your baseball memory goes.

@fuzzyfromyt Love: players seem to get slower as they round the bases, like they’re running out of stamina. Hate: players seem to get slower as they round the bases, like they’re running out of stamina.

What do you guys think so far of MLB The Show 26? What do you love and hate about it? 🤔