Mike Seaton

@SurreyRoadCops When I report a motorist failing to give me right of passage across my Surrey village Ped crossing and I report their VRN and you don’t give a cr@p, I’ll remember your one rule for us & another for SP when it suits you to post your authoritarian activities but not your failing

If you decided to film the collision scene on the M25 with your phone as you drove past us today...we thought we'd let you know you weren't the only ones filming! Expect a letter through the post inviting you to receive 6 points and a £200 fine.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle make secret visit to the Queen. No words. mol.im/a/10720195

@sanditoksvig a great show tonight! Thank you for entertaining us all. #brilliant Lovely pencil ✏️ received for my show input: Camberley Kate Ward news.bbc.co.uk/local/surrey/h…

@SurreyRoadCops A few years ago we had Police Officers who were passionate about Village Life and Policing at a local level. Not now sadly. I tweet my local Police about a local issue and got told not our department’ #Bollocks. E Scooters are carbon neutral unlike Police Cars. #timesachanging!

This E-Scooter was seized having been seen on a busy road overtaking other vehicles through a pedestrian crossing. They are not allowed on the roads in Surrey and the driver had no licence or insurance. He was reported to court.

@MyPictureCoUk Do not use this card and photo Co. They’re not UK based & not delivering orders or taking phone calls. They’re in Germany. A news thread on FB has 894 customers complaints. They’ve not delivered an order on time for a family bereavement card. #beware

@BorisJohnson Monday 28th December is a Bank Holiday #6DaysofChristmas

#PritiPatel Hello.... where have you been for the last 72 days? On holiday somewhere? Your decision is 72 days too late and you’ve let over 1 million + people into the UK whilst we were told to stay at home. Bloody farcical. bbc.co.uk/news/uk-529072…

@HelloFreshUK Sadly zero response to tweet, phone calls and emails. I think Trading Standards will be my next port of call.

It gets better @HelloFreshUK or not dependant on your view... having checked the complete order received yesterday. Three meals with diced chicken and all three missing from delivery 📦 🚚 plus this spring onion is defo not ‘fresh’ #HelloFreshSnaps

@HelloFreshUK What, no diced chicken! It’s not the end of the world for us in real terms but your getting simply too good at missing out the main meat / fish part of the meal in our orders. Mange Tout are not Green Beans. #HelloFreshSnaps

@BorisJohnson Good skills Boris. Is there no No.10 official speech tonight?

Tonight we have left the EU - an extraordinary turning point in the life of this country. Let us come together now to make the most of all the opportunities Brexit will bring - and let’s unleash the potential of the whole UK. 🇬🇧

@GordonRamsay please can we have a set of pans too? @WossyTV

@realDonaldTrump Your arrival in MSP in AFO is holding up the departure of my partner’s flight out of MSP. tonight. The power you have over other people is awesome.....

WOW, THANK YOU Minneapolis, Minnesota — on my way! #KAG2020

@daviddomoney Agree. A few past cheeky weekends at Centre Parcs cooking Paella in the snow!

Healing horticulture: A recent study found that nature provides a sense of calm and gave participants with a non-threatening space in which to engage. #WorldMentalHealthDay

@POferriesupdate @CalaisTerminals @UKBorder It’s Sunday PM with lots of vehicles with Ferries to catch and only two out of ten pre reservation booths open and minimal Border Force staff working too. #calais #inefficient #hopeless

@brexitparty_uk @Nigel_Farage Have to admit, a very good TV PPB. I voted to leave the EU. There was no option on a deal or not at such time. BREXIT is a word dreamt up by the Government Marketeers. It did not appear on the EU Referendum voting slip and I studied The Maastricht Treaty for 2 years in Economics!

Why hasn’t Brexit happened yet? Will it happen at all? Narrated by @Nigel_Farage, we paint the picture in our latest Party Political Broadcast ⬇️

@JohnBishop100 Great Gig @CamboTheatre last night! Thank you!

@JohnBishop100 Bloody brilliant first half. Camberley tonight!

Things not to joke about: • Women • Gays • People of Colour • People of Girth • Communists • Jussie Smollett • Ilhan Omar • Greta Thunberg • Enya • Vegans • Male wombs • Female penises • Burqas • Ecosexuality • MeToo • The concept of a feminist caliphate Thanks.

@VodafoneUKBiz It’s so far taken three long phone calls to upgrade our BB to a new Fibre service and I’m still awaiting a call back from your ‘Back Room Team’. #howhardcanitbe?