Mike Merryfield

@Expedia can you help me? The hotel I’m staying at does not see my reservation.

@AmericanAir Thanks for nothing

@MikeMerryfield We're here to listen. DM us your confirmation code along with the details of what happened.

The Protector and Chief!👇🇺🇸

@Apple I’m having problems with my Apple Cash account! Please help?

@teamyoutube I need help

This morning on The #RickandCutter show @cuttermedia is joined by @MikeMerryfield & @RobBreakenridge again filling in for @RickMcNealWAPL We'll name our #Weenieoftheweek we have #smalltowncrimewave Coast to Coast, Cutter's guitar shop and @jpsears24 joins us

Taking a picture of your butthole is harder than it looks.

@LoonyBinLR @JeffBodart If you don’t book me you’re not allowed to comment, sorry.

@JeffBodart @MikeMerryfield This is the "Before" picture. . .

So @MikeMerryfield found a picture on an old hard drive of a bunch of handsome possibly from around 2005. Just two funny bros in light blue striped shirts.

Great, this is how women will be getting abortions from now on.

When boarding a plane I locate the hottest women on board, point to her and say “If this bird crashes I’m eating you first”

Karen Porn is all the rage! ##karen #bigdealcomic

My new special is live now on YouTube! @800lbRecords on @YouTube

In this episode, @dbublitzcomedy and @JShirleyComedy talk with @MikeMerryfield about putting in the time, being ready for fame, and his new comedy special @standupjourneym by @800lbRecords. Plus more. share.transistor.fm/s/9e4a7783

Head to our YouTube channel tonight at 5PM CT to catch the premiere of the full comedy special 'The Journeymen'. Set your reminders now. 800PGR.lnk.to/TheStandupJour… @MikeMerryfield

Excited to a part of @standupjourneym available May 19th on @800lbRecords @YouTube page! #comedy

We need to figure out how all of these women are getting pregnant in the first place.

My doctor is fat so I have trouble trusting her medical advice. I told her my back hurt the other day and she prescribed cake.

Many thanks to the people that helped me on my album: everyone @thelaughbutton label, thrilled to be on Laugh Button Records! Everyone @800lbRecords, thanks for your advice. @MikeMerryfield thanks for recording me. My home club @ComedyWorks, Yay! @JoshBlueComedy you’re the best!

A comedian messaged me and asked if I was headlining in Vegas. That’s cute. I’m always headlining, I’m kind of a big deal.