Mike “The Henchman” Singletary

Tim McGraw easily in my top ten country artists

Looking back this does sound a little strange. A rocket for a high schooler? If that makes it better.

Lil bro went to prom with an absolute rocket. Never been so proud

@CroakiesOnMyNec @jeffknox55 Came here to comment this. Respect🤝

@jeffknox55 Pink Floyd for 47 mins? You listen to half a song or something?

I need to listen to more music

@RandyHarrisIII Randy, my guy, it sounds like you’re in.

ex-girlfriend of 3 years liked TWO of my IG stories. haven’t spoken in a year. #whatdatmean

@sargeantsniff3r Can’t even appreciate the boys nowadays man what

Dudes who post their boys posts on their stories are the biggest #fags of all time

bitch alcohol is a severely underrated and very overhated.

@NanTort101 Sir, I may be dead before I enter the same state as this creature

How many beers would it take to sleep with that thing?

Just reviewed my posts within the last month and a half. Can anyone define “alcoholism” for me? I’m getting worried

Apologies to anyone who saw this. Just now finding out I was still obliterated at 5 am on New Years.

Insanely banged up right now, but I still have a couple laps until the finish line #persevere

@DerekNotJeter Derek, Absolutely spit it out. You only have one chance at life. Best of luck, Mike

Girl that I took to a date party, then unfollowed me on everything, and now has a boyfriend is next to me at the bar rn. Do I take an outrageous shot? What’s the play here?

Why doesn’t apple have a timeout emoji? Like two hands making a T. Surely that’ll play #showerthoughts

posting and getting no likes is my exposure therapy

this bitch must be jewish the way she pays me no interest

Boutta grab some beers and take over the touch tunes

Bro wtf was I doing 😭

@DrewPFux Proud to have had a couple ladies in my life that ripped more slurs than my boys.

Are there still any girls out there that say Faggot? Feel like it’s a dying breed. #Noticing

Gonna go text that one girl I sat behind in bio sophomore year of high school. Thanks for the reminder, Calvin!

Every woman sucks except my mom