washurhands

@WWLTV Hope all are ok

As a result of the crash, the remainder of the band's tour has been canceled. wwltv.com/article/news/n…

@CrazyVibes_1 You think Gen X was wild look into the Boomers childhoods. Of course most of them had after school jobs by the age 14 or taking care of younger siblings while parents worked 2 jobs. But when they were free to bike ride they were as feral as it gets. See ya at bedtime.

Dear Gen X, I’ve been watching 80s movies and I just need to know…WHERE WERE YOUR PARENTS?? Every child was just wandering the earth unsupervised like a raccoon with house keys. Riding bikes across town at midnight, fighting ghosts, investigating murders, befriending cryptids, hacking government computers for funsies… And the parents were ALWAYS “out of town” or “working late” while the only adult-adjacent supervision was some random 16-year-old who got dragged into the chaos. No cell phones. No helmets. No adult supervision. Just vibes, life lessons, and several near-death experiences. You all weren’t “raised.” You were lightly monitored feral creatures with a bike and unresolved trauma. I’m genuinely shocked there are enough of you left to populate an entire generation.

@dokrauss @CrazyVibes_1 Exactly

@CrazyVibes_1 Gen X learned all those skills from us boomers, the original feral children.

i like being able to smell the laundry detergent on my clothes after washing them

@JesterJum And yet the voicemail says you must give the # you want a recall to .

If you say your phone number twice when leaving a message, you were definitely born in the 1900s. THEY CAN SEE YOUR PHONE NUMBER!

Me: Hey, can you print this black and white document? Printer: I am offline. Me: No, you are not. Can you please just print this black and white document? Printer: With my MAGENTA low??? Bro, you sound insane right now.

@Kristinartz Mind your own business

My neighbor is 66, but she still dresses and acts like she's much younger. What do you think I should do?

i correct autocorrect more than autocorrect corrects me.

I would rather be friends with someone I disagree with politically who never talks about politics than someone I agree with who can never shut the fuck up about politics.

Listen, Apple. If I accidentally click a name on the call log and hang up within .5 seconds, it shouldn't show up on their phone as a missed call. We need the ability to bail on this mistake. How about a 2 second grace period or something? Idc just fix it please!

How is it 2026 and we still don’t have a dustpan that doesn’t leave a line.

Half the time I retweet someone’s tweet, it’s just me acknowledging that they perfectly expressed a thought I was already carrying 😭

Amazon’s customer service strategy is basically
“here’s your refund, please don’t talk to us”

Why is no one talking about the fact that appetizers are now the same price as entrees

My grandfather said he’d never move into a retirement home. He said, “Too expensive… and the food tastes like someone boiled sadness.” Instead, he checked into a beachfront hotel. We asked, “Grandpa, isn’t that even more expensive?” He smiled and said, “Not really. At the retirement home, I’d pay $200 a day for cold meatloaf and no visitors. But here? For $150 a day, I get ocean views, room service, fresh towels, a pool… …and suddenly all my grandkids remember I exist every weekend.” Then he leaned back in his chair and delivered the final line like a mob boss: “And if I die in the hotel lobby, the manager will actually look disappointed. But at the nursing home? They just call it Tuesday.”

I've never found a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

@Ravenismeee Hell yeah everyone is entitled to their opinion

If someone handed you $500 and said it was because you’re ugly, are you taking it?

@Real_Ames The assailant did not know that Gary had years of pennant anger from his wife holding him back! Woman let your man do what needs to be done.

A 68-year-old man was out taking an evening walk with his wife when a young homeless guy allegedly attacked him… and learned the hard way that age does not equal weakness. Three punches later, grandpa tucked him in for the night. 😳🥊 Some people really need to stop assuming older men are defenseless just because they have gray hair.

$318 to tow it to the nearest dealership $350 for the new fob $79 to program it Can we just go back to regular keys, please?!?! 😳

@TaraBull Is this really her or AI generated?

Actress Demi Moore, Age 63, Turns Heads at Cannes 2026 with Bold New Look