Bubba Mockingbird 

@MLBONFAX (The Red Sox did not actually trade Roman Anthony... as far as we know)

BREAKING: Roman Anthony has been traded to the San Francisco Giants. In return, Boston receives a Little League player and a $50 Applebees gift card. @MLBONFAX

(this is a joke and my account is parody)

Chiefs' WR Rashee Rice will wear No. Inmate 058352, taking O. J. Simpson's old number.

@NFLonFAX @ZachWilson @BYUfootball Poor Jack Wilson!

BREAKING: The Jets are sending QB Zach Wilson back to BYU as a redshirt senior, per @MockingbirdFAX

@MLBONFAX @LieutenantDans7 @Braves Not a surprising move -- Orlando Arcia, with all his "Tallahassee Magic," has solidified himself at shortstop/midfielder. Braves are in need of a good culture guy and 3B coach, and who better than 2021 World Finals MVP Dansbert Swanson?

BREAKING 🚨: The Braves are acquiring Dansby Swanson from the Cubs to coach 3B and the infield, per @MockingbirdFAX. Austin Riley and cash will go to Chicago in the trade. "Giving up a 3rd baseman for a 3rd base coach is always an upgrade," manager Brian Snitker told Fax.

@MLBONFAX I haven't been to Mexico since the War in 1848, I would love to return!

Which FAX reporter should we send to Cancun? #CancunNLCS

@topha333 His "pitching half" could, say, be a Minnesota Twin. It'd be slightly weird to say it would be a "Minnesota Twins," wouldn't it? And then his non-pitching-half could be, theoretically, a Boston Oriole. They're a baseball team that plays at Fenway Yards...

@MockingbirdFAX Boston Oriole? First, where is the “s” at the end of “Oriole”? Second, where is the “s” at the end of “Twin”? Third, who ever did this graphic really thought the Boston baseball team is the Orioles?

MLB is considering a new "Ohtani Rule 2.0" that'd allow him to play for one team as a hitter, and another team as a pitcher. Ohtani would spend 4 days with his 1st team as a DH; then, when pitching for the 2nd team, he would fly back-and-forth between innings to DH for the other.

(this did not happen, as far as we know*)

When the two teams play against each other, I've been told Ohtani will *not* be allowed to pitch to himself. Instead, they'll be able to use his interpreter Ichiro Suzuki as a pinch-pitcher while Shohei bats.

How do I celebrate a Max Fried win? Ice cold Fax Lite from an Atlanta Braves Dugout Mug. Same way Chipper would, as far as I know. Grab yours: dugoutmugs.com/collections/at…

@MLBONFAX Akron Groomsmen +69

MLB World Finals odds after trade deadline, via Statfax: Braves -420 Orioles -419 Dodgers +1500 Astros +1600 North Japan +1650 Rangers +2200 Padres +2200 Ohtanis +2500 Reds +6600

@GI_Jon0131 @MLBONFAX @JonHeyman @JeffPassan @BNightengale @Ken_Rosenthal @jonmorosi @TomDungESPN @SterlingDmndFAX @HollyBaylorMLB Thank you, Jordan! I've been doing this job since 1851 and don't intend to stop now.

The @MLBONFAX crew is on fire with the hot stove talk!!! Running laps around @JonHeyman, @JeffPassan, @BNightengale, @Ken_Rosenthal, @jonmorosi Great job @TomDungESPN @SterlingDmndFAX, @HollyBaylorMLB, @MockingbirdFAX!!

@GrittyNHL @AkronRubberDuck @uakron @KingJames Pagans' owner Harry Flugleman has confirmed that rookie 4th baseman Brooks "One Eyed" Baker is the return for O'Doyle. Baker is currently serving our nation in the War Between the States. I believe this photograph was painted prior to the events leading to his nickname.

BREAKING: Veteran LHP/DH "Tungsten Arm" O'Doyle has been traded from the Akron Groomsmen to the Philadelphia Pagans. I will telegraph you all with an update when I hear which players have been returned from the Pagans.

STOVE IS HOT

FAX Sports reporters are in NLCS Eddie Rosario mode for the Trade Deadline 🔥 @HollyBaylorMLB @TomDungESPN @SterlingDmndFAX @MockingbirdFAX

("Kris Drewery" did not actually say this*) *as far as we know

Aroldis Chapman has been traded to the New York Rangers. The plan is for him to play goalie. "We think his size, strength, and experience will translate well to the violent sport of hockey," said Rangers' GM Kris Drewery