Ryan Ellis

@JeffPassan He'll be eating sewer rats now, the poor schlub! No one will EVER want to pay him a trillion dollars to pitch for them after this!

Detroit ace Tarik Skubal will undergo surgery to remove loose bodies in his left elbow. Such procedures typically sideline players for 2-3 months. Skubal should return before season's end, but a tough blow for the impending free agent and two-time reigning AL Cy Young winner.

@Alden_Gonzalez I think trying to throw a tiny baseball through a brick wall with EVERY SINGLE PITCH has something to do with it

A partial list of pitchers who have landed on the IL with arm injuries this year ... Tarik Skubal Garret Crochet Spencer Schwellenbach Hunter Greene Hunter Brown Brandon Woodruff Joe Ryan Nick Pivetta Josh Hader Edwin Diaz

@Chandler_Rome @TheAthletic @brianmctaggart Carlos Correa and Giancarlo Stanton and I guess Mike Trout too seem to be magnetically drawn to getting hurt 6 or 12 times a year

Carlos Correa is believed to have suffered a significant left ankle injury, sources tell @TheAthletic. He will visit a foot specialist tomorrow to determine the exact severity and timeline, but "it is not good," one source said. First: @brianmctaggart - nytimes.com/athletic/72572…

@Eman_8282 He. So. She. Hoe. Shoe. Us. Use

@Ravenismeee I have a list longer than War And Peace, but how about "unpack"?

An overused word or phrase that needs to be retired in 2026

@LouieKerr8 You are NOT odd

🐕🐶🐩🐕‍🦺😊

@artless_space Don't forget the whining. Just like the piece of garbage they helped elect president, it's the never-ending persecution complex and the whining like DJ Tanner in Full House about how it's not fair

Billionaires have it all, and yet they still want you to have less.

@Polymarket It's such a problem that they're giving it 6 more years

JUST IN: McDonald’s to eliminate self-serve soda stations nationwide by 2032, citing “changing consumer habits”

@LuizaJarovsky It isn't a lie, but one of my biggest problems with this A.I. nonsense is that it isn't good enough, it isn't RIGHT often enough & it isn't ready to be stuffed down our throats. It's like somebody bought some ground beef & said "enjoy a delicious burger!" that's not ready yet

I see no lies here

@OrevaZSN We are not a serious people

They banned plastic bags and straws, only to let boomers melt the planet down making AI cartoon versions of themselves on Facebook and churn out videos that make people doubt the authenticity of everything they watch online.

@RAtheRuggedMan Agreed. I like Heat, quite a lot in fact, but it's ALWAYS talked about on here like it's the Noah's Arc of movies. I don't know what Noah's Arc has to do with anything. But, yeah, good crime movie, great cast, I like it, but CALM DOWN, people!

people over hyping HEAT as top 5 all time movie 😂 It's not even a top 5 Deniro movie or a top 5 Pacino movie

@buitengebieden Stretch out with your FEELINGS!

The force is strong in this one.. 😊

@mfrost11 Ha! Is 5000 people THAT small of a town, especially in the Pacific Northwest in the very early '90s...and when a lot of the residents appear to be rural? Did nobody at ABC ever live anywhere other than New York or L.A.?!

Funny thing about that: It was originally 5,100 but ABC freaked out that it was too small a town. So I added a zero.

I've got 69 minutes of podcasting content for you on "Have You Ever Seen" today. It's not about Star Wars, but it IS about Tarzan The Ape Man & the 1924 Peter Pan. Force counterprogramming! Next Monday, Danger Zone time! I'll be reviewing Top Gun #classicmovies @AmericanFilm

@JohnCleese He's back to sounding like the drunk at the end of the bar who can fix all the world's problems if the bartender would just listen to his brilliance

I love "Only drive downhill whenever possible"

@TheCinesthetic I haven't heard it in a long time, but I remember Arnold being jovial, but not offering much (except going on and on about the thing he puts up his nose) and responding to EVERYTHING Paul says with "exactly".

@BaileyCarlin Aw, he's gonna miss going to visit the stupid, smelly idiot and being fed fast-food hamburgers

They’re calling it the greatest PR answer of all-time

@maiamindel I've rarely hated people like I hate Zuckerberg, Musk, Altman and any other underwhelming idiot who's stuffing this bullshit down our throats

AI CEOs: we will replace all jobs with AI and if you sad little meatbags want to do something with your pathetic lives, it will be war, war on our behalf. Human civilization dies tonight bitch Also AI CEOs: why aren't people excited for AI and data centers

@RealEmirHan Plus, he wins a contest, Jerry!

Val Kilmer actively tried to sabotage his own Top Gun audition. He hated the script and didn’t want the role. Kilmer found the story “silly,” and thought the macho tone was beneath him Director told, "It gets better. Wait till you see jets. Takes your breath away."

@NotTodayEric Some of the funniest uses of swearing in the history of social media is when the animal accounts choose to swear at other animals

Twitter is the best place to keep up on the latest news or argue with a horse.