Mpume Ndala

The idea that women should “endure” for the sake of the children is one we need to retire. I grew up in a home where my mother stayed, she was “strong”, she was a “Mbokodo,” she “bekezela’d” and the damage was still there. It didn’t skip us just because the family stayed together. We see it clearly in today’s youth an entire generation raised in homes where mothers absorbed abuse, mistreatment, and silent suffering. That pain doesn’t disappear into the walls. It transfers. It shows up in how those children relate to partners, how they define love, what they tolerate, what they normalize. A mother who is consistently broken down, disrespected, or mistreated will eventually consciously or not pour some of that pain onto her children. Not because she’s a bad mother, but because that’s what unaddressed trauma does. You cannot protect your children from what is destroying you from the inside. So yes; if a woman decides that leaving is what she needs to remain mentally whole, that decision is putting her child first. A healthy, present, emotionally stable mother in a single-parent home can do more for a child than a two-parent home built on suppressed pain and resentment. Staying is not always sacrifice. Sometimes it’s just delayed damage.

I used to have this mental illness where l thought logical arguments would change someone's mind

You can survive being single. Not having a community however, is detrimental. Also not everyone with this desire gets to be partnered up & we forget that it’s a game of luck

I’m dropping a huge truth bomb and going to sleep: For some men, losing an incredible woman is a relief—because now they can keep being mediocre without the pressure to become better.

The single most important thing a black man can contribute to the black community is staying committed to one woman and looking after his kids. This is far more consequential than any other form of activism or advocacy.

It’s sad that during your formative years, your exposure to the world is largely limited by your parent’s own exposure. If they value things like music lessons, spelling bees, sports, or exploring random hobbies, you benefit from that. If not, it’s just chores and TV for you.

💯🤣🤣😂😭😭😭

You took her to McDonald’s and spent R300. The other guy took her to Dubai and spent R250k. The R250k to that other guy is what R300 is to you. Same gestures, just different capacity.😅

My problem with a healthy lifestyle (exercise, eating clean) is you have have to do it for the rest of your life.

If you have a library nearby, please get a library card! It’s boosts library stats, which helps keep them funded and open for kids who need them the most, I beg!🥹🙏🏾

wish a nigga

And one major problem with knowing too much or seeing things clearly is that you lose the ability to participate in certain illusions that make life easier for everyone else.

Goals in the World Cup: Benni McCarthy - 2 goals 🇿🇦 Wayne Rooney - 1 goal 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

It's right there with the 3

19 years ago, a high school basketball coach put his team manager into a game for the final four minutes. The kid had never played a single minute of competitive basketball in his life. He scored 20 points. Jason McElwain was diagnosed with severe autism at age two. He didn’t speak until he was five. He couldn’t chew solid food until he was six. He wore a nappy for most of his early childhood. As a baby, he was rigid, wouldn’t make eye contact, and hid in corners away from other children. He tried out for his school basketball team every year and got cut every time. Too small. Too slight. Barely 5’6 and about 54 kilograms. But he loved the game so much that his mum called the school and asked if there was any way he could be involved. The coach created a team manager role for him. For three years, McElwain showed up to every practice and every game. He wore a shirt and tie on match days. He ran drills, handed out water, kept stats, and cheered every basket like he’d scored it himself. On 15 February 2006, the last home game of his final school year, the coach let him suit up in a proper jersey and sit on the bench. With four minutes left and a comfortable lead, the coach sent him in. His first shot missed. His second missed. Then something shifted. He hit a three-pointer. Then another. Then another. His teammates stopped shooting entirely and just kept passing him the ball. He hit six three-pointers and a two-pointer. 20 points in four minutes. The highest scorer in the game. When the final buzzer went, the entire crowd rushed the court and lifted him onto their shoulders. His mum tapped the coach on the shoulder, in tears. “This is the nicest gift you could have ever given my son.” McElwain won the ESPY Award for Best Moment in Sports that year, beating out some of the biggest names in professional sport. He’s 36 now. He works at a local supermarket, coaches basketball, has run 17 marathons including five Boston Marathons, and travels the country speaking about never giving up. When asked about that night, his coach still gets emotional. “For him to come in and seize the moment like he did was certainly more than I ever expected. I was an emotional wreck.”

I’m at the “lengane ikhule phambi kwethu” age. 😭

I'm not clubbing because I'm trying to be a good girl...I simply don't like the scene..I'm still outside doing fun loud things. I dont like cheating because I care for my health. I'm not performing for men's validation. I just like myself alot better and choose different type of fun.

@fixities @MariahCarey Banger!!! 💥

@MariahCarey And both of you earned those accolades for radio activity.

She has 2 Nobel prizes, I have 2 Diamond albums, we're practically the same person

“Latch” By Sam Smith & Discourse is one of the greatest songs ever written & sung.