Steve Carrell

I’m worried that when i am 69 years old i will laugh for an entire year.

It's probably good Lebron put the headband back on huh

I hate when it's dark and my brain is like, "Hey remember that horror movie where ....''

Check out This amazing formula to provide incredible muscle growth so you can get ripped goo.gl/6GEqr - sp

Blanket on: too hot. Blanket off: too cold. 1 leg out: perfect, until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs it & drags you down the hall

What were the best games of the year? Find out during #VGA on @SpikeTV! Watch tonight 9PM ET bit.ly/THFleK - sp

Closing your left and right eye to see how an object changes places when you're extremely bored.

Night before school: I want to look attractive tomorrow. Morning of school: Never mind.

Im not a huge fan of biology, but there will always be a special place in my heart for pumping blood to organs and muscles.

Retweet if you have ever ran up the stairs in fear because you felt an evil presence behind you.

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

Crazy simple shortcut to a killer 6-pack, learn how Brad Pitt uses this secret 2 get sexy muscles FAST goo.gl/btPkm - sp

Breathtaking view of the Milky Way as seen from Mars.

:S :C :H :O :O :L You can't find happy faces.

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Am I the only one that likes to move around while talking on the phone? I can't just stay in one spot...

I hate texting people first. I feel awkward, annoying and unwanted.

Lets assume your looks are average. Right off the bat 50% of men are more attractive than you, that's 1.5 billion handsome lads…

If you unfollow me, I hope you get Crocs for Christmas.