Ted Nails

@sweetbakedpeach He will not leave willingly this time.

This is serious. This is not a joke no matter what anyone says. Every joke is a veiled truth

Low Rats 420 FRENDLY

@DontBotherKeiti It is actually written in conduct codes not to perfume to points of distraction. A shampoo lady smelled all skanked out once the last time I went one place

I can smell a woman at work 20 feet away because her perfume gives me an instant headache. It's really not appropriate at work, leave it for your personal life.

@lanechanged Got any vids of you skating, Lane???

Just so we're clear, streaming our entertainment is pretty popular cuz reality really sucks right now. The worse things get, the more we fall for the fantasy.

@TrueTorontoGirl That’s taken already though

My husband's nickname for me is Hey.

@theliamnissan That is very telling. Trump indirectly owns it apparently

You can't post anything about Epstein on TikTok. It's a community guidelines violation. Fuck whoever owns TikTok

@ALadyNamedKatie Someone has stolen ur name and pf pic claiming to be you in a “private “ account messaging older handsome guys like me. Would you kick her ass please? Unless it IS you, in which case thank you

When I die, please cover my casket in my sticker collection that I bought but could never commit to applying on things

I’m currently at a hospital in Florida waiting to claim Rudy Giuliani’s soul.

y’all really want sympathy for rudy giuliani? get fucked

@GiniferL Multiple mini coats are always best.

Ok. So it takes 5 coats of acrylic paint to cover spray paint. Now I know.

@softtail65 Pearl necklace comes to mind

What's your favorite ZZ Top song? 🎶 On May 4, 1991, Texas Governor Ann Richards declared May 4th to be ZZ Top Day! 🎸 Richards honored the group for "bringing the powerful beat of Texas boogie to enthusiastic audiences across the globe." ZZ Top had become known for their live performances, sly & humorous lyrics, and the matching appearances of Gibbons and Hill. Formed in 1969 in Houston, ZZ Top consisted of Billy Gibbons, drummer Frank Beard, Dusty Hill for 51 years, until Dusty died in 2021. ZZ Top was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2004.

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 smart af, and the kid clapped.

Give enough honey and you give your dog DIABETES

The Epstein files contain allegations that Donald Trump sexually assaulted a 13-year-old girl in the 1980s — claims the FBI took seriously enough to interview the accuser four times. So why is Trump’s DOJ still withholding the records?

@adammocklerr I do

Hey can we all block accounts that just spam out fake quotes all day? Very unhelpful.

@iGreenGod @CarpeDeann Nah. Thats just the tequila.

Witchcraft is when your girlfriend breaks up with you, becomes a lesbian, and snatches your new girlfriend.

🤚 I know I am.

Here are the magats arguing trumps lies

Wow! Every single person should listen to @mtgreenee here. She outlines exactly what went down with Trump desperately trying to prevent the Epstein files from getting released.

Maga and Trump are enemies of the us constitution