Tater 🍁🐾

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

@KimsyWhimsy79 Yes, I know.

@TrueTorontoGirl We have everything in there. Trust me.

Women who carry a giant purse are always prepared to kill you.

@KoKeniSaskqatch @UncleBob56 😉

@TrueTorontoGirl @UncleBob56 Wait. How big is giant? I may need a bigger bag.

My work thinks they are punishing me by not giving me shifts and it's like they don't even know me at all.

If you don't have anything kind to say. . Come and sit by me we'll make fun of them together

One way to tell if you work with a criminal is by saying "the cops are here" and see who slips out of sight.

Shout out to the people who never make you question where you stand with them.

Going through my seventh midlife crisis.

Once you stop being easy to control, people reveal their true colours.

My boss is always telling me to dream big then gets mad when I doze off in meetings.

@theflipgod Well you will always know what you mean LOL

Honestly, now I just want to cut out the first part and call people "willow". I'd have much fewer disputes.

Ever just want to punch someone in the throat because you know it'll do you both good?

@doggiedogthedog 😂

@TrueTorontoGirl I once plugged the toilet in the middle of the night I didn’t want to make a bunch of noise and wake the wife, so I left the plunger in the toilet I awoke later that night as my wife beat me mercilessly… Oooops😂

People who own more than one plunger have been through some shit.

@doggiedogthedog 😂

@TrueTorontoGirl Just be careful out there😂😂

I've come to believe the key to life is knowing when to stay and when to run like hell and never look back.

It's perfectly okay to call people a pussy as long as you slowly add willow at the end.

@doggiedogthedog Me too. Actually I need to buy a better one LOL.

@TrueTorontoGirl I have a plunger by each toilet now There is truly nothing more to strive for in this lifetime I’ve achieved everything

@AGStr8upNinja 🙃

@TrueTorontoGirl Still one of my fave Twitter accounts.

Weird how my brain always waits until bedtime to explode.

@ageofartifacts Yup.

@TrueTorontoGirl Always like this?