Ned Jeffers

@MrSnabsnibbins @phartgobblers Maybe... Or maybe you're both in this together!!!

@NedJeffers @phartgobblers I don't think Phart Gobblers stole our ship, Ned.

Ever since our ship got stolen we've been stranded at this remote fueling station in the middle of nowhere. Ned fished a filthy old fedora out of a dumpster and is now playing detective. He keeps grilling the cashier like he's suspect number one. Gonna die from cringe overload.

@MrSnabsnibbins The smell gives me power, it makes me a better detective.

@NedJeffers I think his eyes are shifting around because that hat smells like the garbage dumpster.

(Also @MrSnabSnibbins made the poster, not me)

Please help, our ship is missing! This is exactly like that movie Dude, Where’s My Car except NOT hilarious.

@wandergagas Do you have any idea what this means? Have you ever heard "nya nya" before?

@NedJeffers wtf

Uhh, Flurb? WTF happened to the ship??? I just walked back to where we parked and it's GONE. And why is there a note in it’s place that says “Nya nya”? What does that mean????

@MrSnabsnibbins Okay, okay, fair enough but we need to hurry, man. Though I guess I could use some Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. And some Monster energy drinks. And maybe a Goo-filled donut. Or 6.

@NedJeffers Why do you think people land at fueling stations?

Uhhh @MrSnabSnibbins, did you not hear me when I said we have to get to Earth in time to stop Nedrina’s wedding? Why are we landing at this fueling station?

@MrSnabsnibbins @EJR_NFT Wait, 55%???

@EJR_NFT Well there's a 55% chance me and Ned might die in a fiery explosion in a second, so you might be good on that.

Just spent 8 hours souping up the ship's engines and overriding some safety features to make it go EVEN faster. About to test it out, if it works then we might have a chance to stop Nedrina's wedding. If it doesn't work, well... we're getting blown the fuck up.

@MrSnabsnibbins Yeah, so what? Everyone knows what a mapkin is. Get some food on your face? Use a mapkin. Need to write down someone's phone number in a bar? Use a mapkin.

@NedJeffers Did you just say mapkin?

@ImHiDude @wandergagas Thanks, Hi Dude. You're a real one, I needed to hear that.

@NedJeffers @wandergagas You've been giving off divorced dad vibes ever since I met you, this is just a small bump in the road. Keep your head high

This weekend I found out that my lovely wife Nedrina is getting REMARRIED. (Thx for the news @wandergagas) So I officially give up on life. I'm just gonna spend the rest of my days in space, chilling in my tighty whities and chugging Mountain Goo. Divorced Dad Mode activated.

@MrSnabsnibbins @wandergagas You're right. YOU'RE RIGHT! I have been through some SERIOUS SHIT. And I'm not gonna let my family slip away from me. Not after all that. Step on the gas, Flurb. We have a wedding to stop.

@NedJeffers @wandergagas That's bullshit. Remember when you broke out of Gobbler prison? Sure, you stepped in a bucket of goo at the end but you're the first person to ever ALMOST escape. And think of all the crazy adventures we've been on -- you always survive, somehow. So you're not giving up, ok?

@MrSnabsnibbins @wandergagas But I can't fight! I'm always the most useless person around here. When I took over the ship it was a disaster, I've never done anything cool. Maybe she's better off without me...

@NedJeffers @wandergagas Look, Ned. I know that Nedrina loves you...for some reason that I can't understand. But she really loves you, god damn it, even though you suck. Surely that means something, right? So let's get you home so you can FIGHT for your family! Just like Vimp would wanted you to.

@MrSnabsnibbins @wandergagas NO...it's....HER...It's NEDRINA... hdfhdfhdfjkdfgkjdfkjgdfkj

@wandergagas @NedJeffers Wandergagas is? Hey congrats wandergagas!!!

Ned hasn't said a word to me all weekend. He's like...frozen in place with this look of shock on his face. Hope he's not becoming a mime or something. Anybody know what's up with him?

@wandergagas ...

You know what I like about 2023 so far? There's been absolutely no bad news for me, whatsoever.