I really hope they're getting the "Mission Accomplished" banner out of storage right now
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Bilbo Swaggins
6.1K posts
Bilbo Swaggins
@NickJiorle
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." Brewer, freelance philosopher, surfer & good times expert.
From Parts Unknown Katılım Eylül 2009
432 Takip Edilen232 Takipçiler
What's everyone think the #hashtag is for tomorrow's megaholiday? I'm thinking #joints4jesus
That or "on the third day, he got faded."
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How has Elon been talking about eliminating waste and fraud and all that, and this fool hasn't mentioned the DMV one good-god-damn time?
That's how you know this some bull
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Haiku #4
Sand sits peacefully
Under the watchful eye of
A transient moon.
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Haiku #3
Heavy falling night,
Silence fills in through cracks.
How will you catch it?
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Haiku #2
Beauty finds a way;
Some flowers bloom in the field,
Others through concrete.
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I'm not sure why I still exist on Twitter, maybe it's to share these random haikus I've written:
Haiku #1
In a modest room,
The wind speaks a simple truth,
The pane cannot hold.
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"We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane." - Kilgore Trout
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Bilbo Swaggins retweetledi
You want me to go apple picking? The original sin???
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Ever think about who's having the better solo career, ketchup or mustard? I feel like Jordan is mustard here
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@DougJBalloon This one is so spot on that it hurts. The intention to detail is chef's kiss
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We wanted to know why this season's hurricanes have been so powerful. So we talked to three unvaccinated Truth Social users at a White Castle in Toms River.
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RIP Kris. To all those who wanted country music to be some lame ass flag-waving false patriot shit, Kris Kristofferson and his ilk were always a middle finger to that notion
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Man I hope these Diddy Tapes don't get Ma$e arrested for nothin' domestic.
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Bilbo Swaggins retweetledi
Has a real claim to being the funniest 90 seconds of comedy in a row
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This tweet wins for tonight
Jesse Hassenger@rockmarooned
Every day, Mark Wahlberg goes to bed at the same hour as a kindergartener, wakes up in the dead of night, and works out six to eight times, maintaining peak physical performance in order to make the worst dogshit movies you've seen in your life
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@KameronMazurek Has anyone checked if this wasn't just just Chris Lilley doing a bit?
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According to NBC, “Raygun” has a PhD in cultural studies and teaches about breaking, hip-hop culture, and gender studies related to these specific dances.
This is Napoleon Dynamite level stuff.
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