Nicholas Lezard

I am sure the IRGC, always sensitive to gender equality, will approve of the @Guardian's choice of the non-binary word "spokesperson"

@WG_RumblePants Arlott

I know many people miss the sound of Richie’s voice on commentary. He’s probably still widely regarded as the best tv cricket commentator. But, if Richie remains at #1, who would you put at #2? I’m genuinely interested to see who people pick. Radio commentators need not apply!

@McleanBull @nicolelampert And you

@Nicklezard @nicolelampert Fine. This has been fun. Thanks. You didn't go digging into my account to find shit to "shame" me with. I respect that. Have a good day!

I love this 👇🏼 ‘My best friend in Brighton, Ben, who is even less Jewish than me, was once sitting in a pub garden on a hot day, wearing a Krav Maga T-shirt with, underneath it, a tiny Star of David and IDF logo in Hebrew. A young woman came up to him. “I find your T-shirt really offensive,” she said to him. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ll take it off.” So he did. And underneath it was an elaborate and rather beautiful tattoo of another Star of David, about ten times larger than the one on his clothing. The woman left the pub.’ Full piece below.

@McleanBull @nicolelampert It still did but that wasn't the main point of the article, which I slightly suspect you haven't read

@Nicklezard @nicolelampert It still didn't happen.

@McleanBull @nicolelampert You have an unusual but revealing concept of amusement. Bye, and thanks for the enlightening correspondence

@Nicklezard @nicolelampert It amuses me.

@McleanBull @nicolelampert Because it is

@Nicklezard @nicolelampert Why are you so keen for it to be true?

@McleanBull @nicolelampert why are you so keen for it to be bullshit?

@Nicklezard @nicolelampert Cool. Doesn't prove your bullshit story.

@McleanBull @nicolelampert Not necessarily, but it does substantiate it

@McleanBull @nicolelampert If you doubt Ben's existence, the chap called "act of love" above also knows him

@Nicklezard @nicolelampert K

@McleanBull @nicolelampert So rather than post it publicly, which could get me into trouble, you'll have to follow me so I can DM you. Quite understand why you wouldn't want that; and anyway you'd probably say it was AI. I assure it isn't

@McleanBull @nicolelampert Oops, unnecessary edit

@McleanBull @nicolelampert Edit: 90kg

@McleanBull @nicolelampert Well I *do* have a photo, but it's a little gory. Ben boxes at 90kg, i.e. light heivyweight, and the photo was taken after a fight

@nicolelampert @truth2uncover I might be imagining it, of course

@Nicklezard @truth2uncover Just a faint one…

@McleanBull @nicolelampert If you insist, but it will have to wait until tomorrow

@truth2uncover @nicolelampert PS interesting that you say in your bio that you dislike anti-semites, for there is a faint suggestion of antisemitism in your post

@nicolelampert Another story that never happened… you little jew demons are too scared to venture in daylight like vampires because you’re hated so much around the world…

@McleanBull @nicolelampert Tricky; it happened a few years ago. But the tattoo exists, if that helps

@Nicklezard @nicolelampert Prove it.

@bobbydazzlermke @nicolelampert It did

@nicolelampert That never happened

@JoAnn_Marie @nicolelampert Yes it did

@nicolelampert This didn’t happen. Consider medication.