Phenol
8.6K posts
Phenol
@NimbuSeth
Isolation Of Singularity
Event Horizon Katılım Temmuz 2023
380 Takip Edilen386 Takipçiler
I am leaving this sh*t hole in some time. Even if govt changes , the society as a whole is fcked out here.
Shubham Mishra@brahma_4u
India has not lost the AI race. It has lost all the technological races. A lot of foundational tech in software, hardware is still dependent on the foreign pioneers. Apart from the service industry, no real TECH is really Indian as of now. Having said that we need a way out where first we have to solve the basic infra, then hyperpromote the scientific temper across masses and then incentivise real foundational work. Many foundational work builders I know have left India because of various reasons. They never posted about it, they just left. India can, India will but not by govt schemes but by mass awareness. World still sees us as a consumption market where they can sachetise stuff and sell.
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last night was the most happening lol.
> went to sleep at 2am, my table fan broke down, fixed it and somehow went to sleep again.
> woke up again coz of a power shutdown which lasted almost from 2:30am to 6am
> always wanted to try this flamethrower stuff. lit up the entire hostel with this 😭😭
> got an endsem tomorrow but yeah, fuck it we bawl.
also, good morning i guess.
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today is my 5th neet attempt.
i will not take any more drops after this. i lost all friends and gained 15 kg weight during this time.
5 years ago i was a different person. used to play cricket every evening. used to be the loud one in class. now i barely speak to anyone, including my own family.
my school batch is in 3rd or 4th year of college now. some are doing internships, some have placement offers, some are getting married next year. i see their stories and i just close the app. stopped opening instagram for months actually.
my parents have spent more on this than they earn in a year. ma sold her gold in 2023. papa took a loan last year. they never say it to me, but i found out. they still tell me "beta paise ka mat soch, tu bas padh". i don't have words for what that feels like.
i don't know if i'll clear it today. the syllabus is the same one i've been reading since i was 16. i'm 21 now. some days the ncert lines just float on the page and i can't focus for 10 minutes straight.
but this year i made a deal with myself. whatever happens today, i move on. no more drops. no more "ek saal aur de de".
if i clear, i become a doctor. simple. i'll give it everything.
if i don't, here is the plan:
1. join a regular bsc. probably bio or nursing. it's not what i wanted but i need a degree in hand. that's the first step out.
2. start losing weight. walking first, then running. small targets. i used to play football for 3 hours without stopping. i want some version of that body back.
3. message 3 old friends this week. doesn't matter if they reply or not. i forgot how to talk to people and i need to start somewhere.
4. learn a skill that earns money. probably coding or something on the laptop. people my age earn decent money sitting at home. i want to start putting money into the house instead of taking it out.
5. therapy if i can afford it, journaling if i can't. these 5 years did something to my head and i need to undo it slowly.
6. no more hiding. for years i've been saying "tayari chal rahi hai" to every uncle and aunty. i'm done with that line. whatever i do next, i'll say it out loud without shame.
i'm posting this because somewhere there's a kid reading this who is in his 2nd drop and thinking about a 3rd. please don't make it 5. one drop is enough. two is the absolute limit. after that the cost is not just years. it's your body, your friends, your parents' savings, your ability to laugh at small things.
life is bigger than one exam. i learned this 4 years too late. i hope you learn it sooner.
going to write the paper now.
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@VazeKshitij 😭😭 I thought for a second that you are talking about the 69 number , but i thought you are not a normie😭
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@VazeKshitij It's not random, they calculated it taking current product prices
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@ajeetbroadway They are just trying to mold sanatan according to themselves
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