Dave

Shall I make it my bio?

Morning troops just had two double sausage and egg muffins and four hash browns.

Southampton hatewatch off to a flyer

@Cherry39aLila @Penelope_10x @GreggsOfficial Hi Lisa it’s Clive from Greggs. You don’t look like you miss too many meals but let’s get this sorted for you. Please confirm the store you bought the cakes from and are you sure you didn’t have a cheeky nibble of one on the way? You’re not you when you’re hungry LOL.

Crystal Palace fans with a clear message

While the United Kingdom faced unprecedented illegal boat crossings, UN agencies condemned plans for deportations. UN officials lobbied aviation regulators to prevent the deportation of migrants – an appalling violation of the UK’s national sovereignty.

@xereeto @tomhfh @PolitlcsUK @RosieDuffield1 Shouldn't have made me laugh but it did

@tomhfh @PolitlcsUK @RosieDuffield1 MP #67 is the right honourable Tung Tung Tung Sahur

🚨 NEW: 67 Labour MPs are now calling for Keir Starmer to resign

This ain't Google unc

@NyukuriEva57978 @AFTVMedia And the Castallenos header

@AFTVMedia David Raya saved a billion heart breaks

Arsenal have won 1-0 seven times this season 👀 Minimal goals, maximum points 💪✅

Got a lotta respect for West Ham. Always have. Still hope they stay up.

This is our Son miss v City

Yeah fuck you Pep Guardiola you madri drinking paella eating bald twat

Gonna have to ask the Mrs if we can name our firstborn Matheus Fernandes

Have that

@Whu199 Would love some flake thanks mate yes

@NotDaveAgain Want a flake with that pal ?

Come on the boys

Made cheese scones today

He's gotta be taking the piss now.

@mideolanbode @FabrizioRomano The old african ceiling bird at it again

@FabrizioRomano Arteta: Where they belong Fabrizio: 🗑

🗣️ “Some people have criticised how Arsenal celebrated at the end of the game…” Mikel Arteta: “I think you have to respect every opinion & place them where they belong.” 🗣️ “Where do you place them?” Mikel Arteta: “Where they belong!”🗑️

I'm generally against theft but one thing i will never pay for is a carrier bag in a shop. I take that shit every time and click 0 bags on the self checkout. I think of it as my renumeration for not using a manned till, hence reducing their salary costs.

@eleliayub @PayPal @AskPayPal I've had about 100 accounts banned by paypal. Every single time i just make a new one, different email, same number. They are so retarded its crazy

Hey @PayPal @AskPayPal I'm not laundering 150 USD. I'm a software engineer.