🌈 kelbot 5000

Check Out Our Family's Fundraiser Page for Monroe Elementary! getmovinfundhub.com/family-webpage…

Goals: Playing fetch with a beluga whale

@eponawest My family adamantly denies ever experiencing financial hardship, but I remember squatting on the farms of distant relatives while my folks were between jobs. Also frequently not having hot water/heat... food stamps, garbage bags of used clothes from neighbors...

idk what the cat is going through but same

“I guess I’m just quirky” she said, feathers sprouting grotesquely from her arms as the villagers shrank away. Her eyes, filling with the inky blackness of a moonless sky surveyed the night. The crow witch of lore had returned and this time she had bangs.

The Academy Award for best dramatic performance goes to…

Edna tried to out-casserole me. So I took my butter game to 11 (eleven). Go ahead, Edna...make my day.

@BriannaShrum Healer Slay 💀 📚

your celebrity bibliophile name is the first pre-1900 profession you can think of + your favorite word that can be written on a Target tank top in calligraphy

Someones gotta pay the rent

The one fully nude person in the sauna

@NoahRevoy Ew

Women need the boundaries of the Patriarchy and a mission in life which is usually a husband, children and home. Absent such structure they malfunction and destroy civilizations. #RestorePatriarchy

Hey, you. This is important. Cheetahs don't roar, they meow like housecats.

If you think we've come far as a society, try being a girl and selling your furniture online and see the messages you get.

[At the gym before someone teaches me the word spotting]: “hey bro will you take care of me and protect me?”