Nick

Hello fellow OCD sufferers. Who would like to see some of my meme creations relating to OCD? The more likes/replies to this, the more I post

Time to just delete every app and site I'm part of, get rid of the phone and go off grid I think. No point having a phone when it doesn't get used and I have no friends.

@evangalang I was but I was also being pushy apparently for asking when I could drop off cards and presents (which they never got) despite her telling me no. She still hasn't talked to me by txt or messenger but did comment on a couple of my FB posts (I'm still restricted on her profile).

@OCDsuffererUK Ahh I see, that's sort of fair enough, but just checking in is a kind gesture. Sounds as though you were just showing you are there for her as and when she needs you/is ready

13 weeks without talking to one friend (now ex friend) cos I'm a stupid dickhead who said the wrong thing. 5 weeks without talking to another friend cos I'm a dickhead and text too much (I was only being friendly and nice to them). Life sucks and hurts without them in my life.

@evangalang She had asked for some space whilst she dealt with things happening in her life. I was texting to check on her and also say that I hope they had a nice Xmas. It wasn't like I texted every day either.

@OCDsuffererUK Text too much? Being nice? They aren't reasons to not be friends with someone!

@__shiticantsay I agree. I loved going to the park with my ex friend and her kids and even played with them, talked to them etc and was great with them. I still had anxiety around them though, especially if illness/sickness was mentioned. I can handle kids in small doses.

Because I can hand them back at the end of the day.

@AskPS_UK So when do we get the free 5 days and is it only standard tier (essential)? My PS Premium expired part way through the downtime so do I get 5 more days Premium? I'm asking because PS Plus says not subscribed to any tier now.

Network services have fully recovered from an operational issue. We apologize for the inconvenience and thank the community for their patience. All PlayStation Plus members will automatically receive an additional 5 days of service.

Sleep pattern is bollocksed up again. Awake all night and sleeping most of the day.

So, I had hardly anything in to eat until I go shopping. Tonight for tea I ended up with this combo. Cornish pasty (warm), roast potatoes (had no chips), veg and beef gravy. It wasn't bad actually.

@__shiticantsay Quite a lot of it is. Of those who appeal to tribunal for PIP, roughly 65% are awarded something where DWP rejected them. I had to appeal twice for PIP for the same claim when transferring over from DLA. 1st tribunal no points. Appealed that on a point of law and won.

How much of that benefits budget is spent on pointless appeals for people who should have been awarded benefits in the first place? How much is spent on investigations or unqualified assessment staff?

I don't want to fight myself anymore. I don't want to fight every day. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of myself. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of my 💩 life. I'm worthless and useless.

I like playing the guard mode on the Pacer in TSW5. It reminds me of the times I travelled on the line when I was a volunteer at a heritage railway.

I miss them :(

I still haven't heard anything from either of them so I'm just going to have to cut my losses I think and be left with no one. It's a shame because both were long time friends (12 and 18 yrs respectively). Maybe I just can't be friends with females after all.

I still have some anxiety niggling today and will have for a few days but at least I got out, I ate in a strange place and I had a good day.

Then we went back to my nephew's to do a little bit of gaming. Things didn't go to plan and there were a few incidents but eventually we got to play a few deathmatches on Timesplitters: Future Perfect. I didn't get home until 1am so was out for 11 hours.

So yesterday was a good day and a challenge for my OCD and anxiety. It was my nephew's birthday so the family decided to go to a pub for a meal (standard practice these days for them).

@evangalang Personal fave is tuna pasta bake but I also like carbonara and others. Pizza 🍕 tops my list though.

@OCDsuffererUK Ahh okay, yeah that makes sense! It is, Italian food is up there with my favourites. It can be pretty filling though, for sure

I'm thinking bangers and mash with veg and gravy for dinner with a beer.