smokin tony

I'm 44 and am watching Red Dwarf again as it's back on the BBC. Having watched it through school, university, my 20s and 30s, and now, it's like an old comforting friend. Being in deep space feel quite appealing versus modern life.

Sometimes I let Morrissey have £0.006. As a treat.

jar jar binks probably gives diabolical dome. May the 4th be with you.

Most squirrel bites originate at the front, or “bitey end,” of the squirrel.

How are we supposed to go back to watching Southampton vs. Bournemouth after this?

Every dinosaur-obsessed kid would eat meat off their plate with just their mouths and no utensils and pretend to be an Allosaurus devouring a Stegosaurus carcass. I did, you did. We all did. No shame in admitting it.

i lost the tinsel in the divorce.

onions r boys and shallots are girls

drink like peter 🍺 smoke like brian 🚬 think like stewie 🧠 swag like lois 💅 fuck like quagmire 💦

Memento Mori 🖤🤍

-emia meaning ______

Having a boyfriend is great because you always have someone to gossip to and he won't tell anyone because he wasn't listening in the first place.

pretty fucked up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason

It’s always “who is Sauron” and never “how is Sauron” maybe none of this would’ve happened if someone had just checked up on him #LOTRonPrime #RingsOfPower

Guys who are into woman who just turned 18 are like bosses that pay their employees minimum wage. Sure it’s “legal” but we know if it wasn’t for the law they’d be going lower.

I do not want to be a woman in the work force!!! I want to be a little creature drinking from a creek!!!!!!

boss makes a dollar, i made a dime, that's why i'm a hater on company time 😤