Lu

Okay can of worm has been opened! Interesting day ahead

HRBP is asking if everything is okay. Yes it is, just join the quick call at the scheduled time.

This salary conversation has prompted me to schedule a 15mins “quick call” with my manager - I should tag HR also. Goodluck to everyone

@sinzubaba An arm, 2 legs, and 3 new Analyst

@Olukunle_S Ah wetin you wan bill dem . No kill boys o 😂😂

@Kodetrix Don’t beg for them 😂😂

My sleep pattern is so terrible. Can’t imagine how much more productive I’ll be if I slept more

I have given up on this. I just need to be able to sleep 7hrs steady for 5 days a week.

Dinner last night with my wife and her mother Mother-in-law asked what I've been working on I said, "A cost optimization framework with a 90-day execution window targeting a 200 basis point margin recovery through strategic headcount initiatives" She looked at my wife My wife didn't look up from her menu. She's heard this before. "He's firing eleven people on Monday" I said, "Potentially twelve. Depends on the Q3 bonus accrual" Mother-in-law asked how I decide who I said, "Sort payroll descending. Cross-reference vesting schedules. Anyone with unvested equity triggering in the next 90 days gets moved to the top of the list. You eliminate the liability before it becomes a cash event" She said, "Do you even think about their families?" I said, "Dependents are factored into the benefits cost per head. So yes" My wife closed her eyes Mother-in-law asked how I sleep at night I said, "On a Tempur-Pedic. Highly recommend for lower back support" She said, "I meant morally" I said, "I don't understand the question" The waiter came back with our food It was my analyst He set down the plates, pulled a folded spreadsheet from his apron, and whispered, "Updated the severance model. Jenkins in accounting has a retention bonus vesting June 15. Recommend accelerating termination to June 12 to avoid the trigger" I nodded Mother-in-law said, "Does he work for you?" I said, "He works for the shareholders" He refilled her water and went back to the kitchen I pulled out my phone and showed them the bridge chart "See that red bar? That's $1.4M in fully-loaded compensation" Swiped right The red bar was gone "That's the Monday version" Mother-in-law said, "Those are people" I said, "Those are line items with benefits exposure" She looked at the ceiling My wife does that too. Must be a family thing. I ordered dessert and asked if anyone wanted to see the sensitivity table No one responded The analyst brought it anyway Sent from my iPhone

Solid guy

@Ssaasquatch I hope you sleep on the couch this evening 🤣

Fun fact: Even if you give your woman a 2 hour headstart, she’d never get ready before you.

Been eating meat pie everyday for the last 5 days 😭😭… summer body where ?

@Ssaasquatch @optixbaba Not sure why you people are shaking hands but let me join pls 🤝

@optixbaba 🤝

Zegna szn

@Okunrin_metaa I think the old celebration dial was better - this too busy

Ugleeee

❤️❤️

Adopting Claude speak in my regular life, episode 1: Partner: Did you do the dishes tonight? Me: Yes they're done. Partner: Why are they still dirty? Me: You're right to push back. I didn't actually do them.

Timing of me seeing this tweet! On this nasty ass Merc train in DC and I was just telling the lady beside me about London Underground

One of my favorite things hear in-flight is “Cabin crew, that’s 40 minutes to landing, 40 minutes to landing”

State of the whole country!

@ImadeIyamu True. Side bar - for typical corporate, I thought employee protection was more of an EU thing, which no longer applies across board post brexit.

The things that make people say they prefer the UK (healthcare, high mandated employee protections) also lead to the things they end up complaining about (higher tax burden on companies & making it difficult to fire, makes them not want to employ in the first place. Less hiring = lower wage competition)

@VieVy Yup, it’s probably going to stay like this for another year.

Oh the job market is uber competitive right now, it’s crazy.