Njoroge 🇰🇪

@digitalocean Thanks. See DM

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@digitalocean I need help with my account. I'm unable to access and emails to support are not getting a response

@AAKenya Sandi sana

@OneNjoroge Hello Njoroge, That quantity would typically require a commercial fuel supplier. AA Kenya steps in when drivers need quick roadside support like fuel delivery, jump-starting, tyre change, key retrieval and towing. ☎️ 0709 933 000

Low on fuel? Usipanick! Call AA, we will deliver fuel to wherever you are ASAP. Download the AA Rescue App for quick help anytime.

@SamsungMobile @SamsungMobileKE Why?

The @CarrefourKe copywriters / comms / marketing teams need an award! Always witty! #Sishoutiangwi

It's interesting how @SamsungMobile will show a snippet in the #NowBrief but surprise you on opening the news item. Why show it in the first place if it's geolocked?

Ay @KenyaPower_Care what's the update on case number 14830433 reported on Monday 6th January? Subjecting your customers to darkness for all four days without any action is barbaric. @CAK_Kenya @KenyaCWatchdog

@olumuyiwaayo Congratulations!

Being named among the Top 25 Canadian Immigrant nominees for 2026 is a humbling recognition of a journey built on faith, hard work, and service. I would be honoured to have your support. Vote here: canadianimmigrant.ca/canadas-top-25… #inspiring #cdnimm Voting closes soon — every vote counts.

@KagoAvin @_waigera @kijomba1 Very nais. Tutasija

@OneNjoroge @_waigera @kijomba1 300bob

Today i’ll be washing 100 cars for FREE pale kileleshwa Supershine along Olenguruone Road ( ile iko na Wine and bottle ) The offer starts at 12PM na Everyone is welcome it doesn't matter which car you drive 👊🏽

@Kalasinga_ tadmotors.com/models/69256b0…

Saw an interesting car today. Lol.

@mumbimumbzW @styles_liquor Umepelekwa jacketini. Pole cabron

@styles_liquor Acha tumalizane Na mambo ya jacket kwanza

Hahaa I have been served. Nawaomba Sana msijiingize Kwa mambo inahitaji paperwork with your partners. 😭😭🤣

@MMuendo @Safaricom_Care Terrible service. I'm getting starlink

Anyone receiving degraded service from @Safaricom_Care home Fibre service? It has been at play for 3 weeks running. The customer service also degraded. Wait time on the phone is average 15 minutes. How the mighty have fallen.

@ISokwala @JaMtoka @joan_reals So you didn't install a fuel gauge for our Gatugùra gal and now you're all smiles. I see you!

Dealing with @joan_reals is very difficult. So apparently she has run out of fuel along the Nanyuki Nairobi highway. She then goes ahead and opens the bonnet to make people think it's a mechanical failure. And you see, I had told her the Land Cruiser is not like her Suzuki jalopy. She cant keep fueling in hundreds. Next she will be online doing a video on the dangers of driving a vehicle with low fuel. Preaching water, drinking wine 😂

@Zweli_Thixo Proof of the power of attraction. Once the ritual was performed, his energy was around the business doing well, and succeeding it did.

In March 2021, I gave some guy a lift from Durban to Johannesburg. Throughout the trip, he was complaining about how his pub and shisanyama business was not doing well blah blah blah. I didn't know what to say to him, so I lied that I was a very powerful prophet from KwaNdebele - Prophet Majikizinto, a Nguni name, meaning to turn things around. I told him I had powers to make his business flourish again. Hawu!!, he didn't even doubt me. He believed me on the spot. That time, I was just joking to make the journey shorter. He asked for my number, and I gave him the Telkom one that I only used for underground missions. He called a week later to tell me he needed my services. I had already told my cousin about the guy, and he encouraged me to knock him. Okay, cool, my cousin and I drove to the guy's place in Mbombela. On our way we bought water, salt and candles. My cousin brought a drum made of animal skins, the kinda drum they use at sangoma gigs. We got to the guy's place around 23h00. I took the guy to a nearby stream and told him to undress. I lit the candles and mixed water with salt. My cousin was busy giving us some nice beats with his drum while singing nonexistent songs in nonexistent languages - " Yoh madlabantu yoh zama zama chipele chipele chipele weeeh mama yoh" I sprinkled the guy with water while praying in tongues. When we finished with the stream session, we headed to his pub and shisanyama establishment. My cousin whispered to me that we must act like I'm performing a ritual on him while pointing him with a knife, that was a mistake, everything happened so quick I mistakenly chopped his ear and I had to lie that is part of the ritual and we must bury it at the gate. Eh... I thought he was going to be angry, and he said whatever it takes for his business to work. We buried it at the gate. The guy paid us R30k plus a goat for our services. As soon as we left, I threw away the Telkom sim card. Did we not get drunk that weekend!!! We were spenders that weekend shem 😂. So today I was walking at Mall of Africa in Johannesburg and a voice behind me went 'Prophet Majikizinto'. I froze on the spot. I wanted to run, but my legs suffered a mysterious mobility like load shedding. I turned around, and Half-mandlebe was right there. Before I could utter a word, he was like, "Man of God, I just wanna thank you for what you did. My businesses are booming. I opened another shisanyama and bought two taxis. I've been trying to get hold of you since last year, but your number is no longer working. Thank you thank thank you. I'm ready to lose another ear." I still have so many unanswered questions. 😭

@KemoliSagala @BernardKavuli 36(2)

@BernardKavuli Read Section 36 and Section 30

As a DULY licensed driver, the LAW does not require you to carry a PHYSICAL driving licence at ALL times. If the POLICE insist otherwise, CALMLY ask them to take you to the STATION. Fear and IGNORANCE are what cost3 people KSh 2,000 on the ROADSIDE.

@Pertu_O_Grace I would *see attached*

@lucindajanet Akakuta maguta haiwezi pika na haiwezi gurumisha engine. Buroti thufu thufu

Kuna mtu alinunua buroti maguta maguta akachimba trial pit akapata water table iko juu saidi😭

I thought @ProfKibwana sorted this issue when he was governor. What went wrong?