Alan Wood

@AndyWoodturner She's barking mad!

I just met a woman who has 27 pet dogs. 27. Twenty seven dogs. And they’re all hyper. All the time. She has to walk them twice a day because her garden is only 3m by 4m. Twenty seven. I’m never going to be able to stop thinking about this.

@thebowlerhatman That might get a smile from Robin Ince...

Today's Adventure comes from Nice! Bonjour!!

@Forest2Furnitur Lovely!

I was taught that it's not polite to boast about your own achievements. But I'm really proud of what I achieved here, taking individual, damaged, reclaimed parquet floor blocks, making into and then laying a beautiful floor in an unusual location. Well done me

@Forest2Furnitur I didn't think people would actually seriously suggest it. Might as well just cover it in Formica.

@Forest2Furnitur Encapsulate it in resin! (Runs away...)

@BambulabGlobal Good grief! We have all this fantastic technology at our fingertips and this is what you decide to celebrate. What a waste of plastic - it'll just end up in landfill like all the other trinkets that are being printed off. Time to showcase some proper engineering, not this tat.

Just in case

@haart_uk Do you also ban your employees from using brand new cars? bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

Judging by the area I live in, freezer, mattress, old sofa and broken BMW should all feature highly...

@AndyWoodturner Don't make me think of you doing those moves, I've not had breakfast yet. Nurse! Pass me the brain bleach.

if it weren't for all the shavings on the workshop floor, this could be a new lathe dance... youtube.com/shorts/70ADJz6…

@AndyWoodturner Ridiculous, nothing is designed for maintenance any more.

SFMOG...I'm waiting for a delivery so I can finish the car for its re-test...so I thought I'd fit a part (not MOT related) that I've had since I put it off road...Oh, I wish I hadn't...

@Forest2Furnitur I found this video interesting... youtube.com/watch?v=F3YggO…

Had a look at the new cathedral in Barcelona today. I wasn't impressed, it looks like someone lost the original plans and the local school children have been supplying the designs for the last 100yrs.

@OctopusEnergy Hi, is the Android (I'm on version 13) app OK? I couldn't top up so logged out and now can't log back in. Ta.

@Forest2Furnitur Oooh, that looks lovely.

Sanded and polish primer coat applied

@Helen_Whately @Daily_Express Pot, kettle, black...

While the country has been watching Labour’s corruption scandals in disgust, Ministers have been quietly carrying out a stealth move on Britain’s pension savings.  Read my article in @Daily_Express ⬇️ express.co.uk/news/politics/…

@Forest2Furnitur They should be OK with an extension lead. So long as they get your kit working, they can 'tick the box' and move on. I've seen many installs like that.

BT are upgrading my internet to fibre, openreach are doing the work. According to the bumf they send out I've got to have a double socket in the room where they put everything, except the only room with double sockets is the kitchen but I don't really want the gizmo in there 🤔

Yes, I should be doing something useful, but when you get an idea in your head...

@TMBC_Kent What the fuck are you dick heads up to? bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

@drdavidbull Bull by name...

Only Reform UK will save Britain’s pubs! 🍺🍻🇬🇧

@drdavidbull That's only because they're all pissed out of their skulls. Or at least they behave like it.

@PeterStefanovi2 When was the last time he turned up for work? Hardly ever in the HoC, never in Clacton. He's a twat.

BREAKING: Nigel Farage calls for an end to working from home and the focus on work-life balance "People aren't more productive working from home - it's a load of nonsense” Whatever you do JUST DON’T VOTE REFORM