Sean (Pavel)

“Gooning is cowardice in the face of fear.” - Sean Zhu

Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets was closer to irl than most will every realize

While you were having premarital sex I mastered the search for giant spiders

I need to make billions of dollars so I can finance expeditions to tropical karst cave ecosystems and prove the existence of giant mygalomorphs Translation: I might get eaten by Shelob

“Transdimensional trillionaires.” Kurt Metzger just dropped a wild theory on what aliens really are: “I think these things are transhumanists that can’t transition back.” “Think of Peter Thiel getting blood from Clavicular, but hyped up to Star Trek level.” Famous UFO abductee Whitley Strieber once said that he asked the aliens: “What’s the universe to you?” “And they put an image of a coffin in his head.” “Time is meaningless to you because you’re a fifth dimensional whatever.” “The way it would work is it’s like you’re in a fence.” “You can go through your starting point and your end point back and forth.” “Imagine playing Grand Theft Auto III.” “Imagine you were so afraid that there could be no better game than Grand Theft Auto III that you put your consciousness in it forever to preserve yourself.” “And now you’re stuck there.” “So when Grand Theft Auto VI is coming out and you’re stuck.” “That’s your coffin forever.” “That’s why they got to come and dick around with your shit.” “That’s why they come harvest your semen.” “They’ve got to figure out a way to undo whatever the fuck they did to themselves.” @kurtmetzger @JonesDanny

@buyerofbananas Cursussy

@PapaPandaCrypto U eat the wrong one and it put a curse on u

If u eat the right girls pussy it gives u super powers they don’t want you to know this

I remember a psychiatrist once telling me that I gamble in order to escape the reality of life, and I told him that’s why everyone does everything. ― Norm Macdonald, 2016

@gravyxbt_ That’s a man

Celebrating milestones and brandy old fashioned's Solid night w my woman

Oh boy...

All the Cesar Chavez “revelations” are funny af to me My dad used to do biz w/ him for auto work in the 70s (Dad’s family had a shop) Dad’s buddy lived next door to Chavez and would say “that guy’s a creep I see young girls leave his house all the time”

I stepped outside to take an evening piss and take in the sunset And A GODDAMN MOSQUITO BIT MY DICK

@MooseNug Or high Good God I spent $200 extra one time on snacks as a bachelor

We live 45 minutes from costco and you'd think the fucking apocalypse is happening. Don't go shopping with your wives bros.

I’m sorry I talked you into leaving your job and “vibe coding” a Prediction Market Trading Bot. You’re right, that was a stupid idea. Do you want me to draft a message to your boss apologizing now?

UPDATE: we've been taken over.

I’m more excited when my agents respond than when a chick I’m texting does lmao Life is good God is great

Called it

Probably 9/11 insider trading

Nobody is talking about how these data centers popping up are secretly owned by big corps like Meta and Amazon They’re literally buying the land under shell companies like Walt Disney built Disney World in FL w/ similar tactics

Innocent until proven slutty

Our most powerful and intelligent agent specifically asked for me tonight instead our CEO for a highly complex and technical task Uhhhhh wtf