
The Pastor in the Middle
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Five Things To Remember At The Graveside. 1. Lead the casket from the hearse to the grave. Once you arrive at the graveside, the funeral director will ask the pallbearers to gather at the back of the hearse to carry the casket to the grave. As they proceed to the grave, you should quietly and solemnly lead the way and stand near the head of the casket as they place it on the grave stand and lowering device. If I don't know, I will often discreetly ask the funeral director before they call for the pallbearers, "Which side is the head?" so that I will know where to stand during this time and the remainder of the service. 2. Read a passage of scripture that gives comfort or speaks of the hope of the resurrection. Death, especially for the Christian, isn't the end. Their spirit is in the presence of God as their body awaits the resurrection. I usually read 1 Corinthians 15:50-57, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, or Psalm 23 to comfort the family and remind them of the promise of the resurrection. 3. Don't take too long. The graveside service is not the time or place for another thirty-minute sermon. Often, it will be hot, cold, or rainy. People will usually stand around the sides and back of the grave tent as the family and friends sit on small, unstable plastic chairs. Sometimes, there will be a song that's sung or played. Occasionally, a family member may want to say something. Most graveside services will last 10-15 minutes. That's why reading a short passage of scripture and offering a brief prayer is best for you at this time. 4. Give your condolences and promise of prayers to those on the front row. When you finish your remarks, scripture, and closing prayer, begin on the right side of the front row, stoop down, and address every family member. I usually shake their hand and assure them of my love and prayers. When you have spoken to everyone in the front row, step outside the tent and indicate to the funeral director that your part of the service is over. He will then take over and close out the remainder of the graveside service. 5. Hang around for a few minutes for those who want to speak with you. After the funeral director has closed the service, people will talk to the family. It's good to stand nearby and allow the family or those in attendance to speak to you. Often, they will thank you for your words and presence. They may share some memories or connections with the deceased. You don't have to stay until everybody has left. After about five or ten minutes, make your way to the family member you have the closest relationship or the one who was in charge of the funeral arrangements and let them know you will be praying for them and are available to help minister to them in any way they need in the coming days. BONUS: As a pastor, funerals will be a significant part of your ministry. Give thought to them. Think through them. Learn how to minister effectively before, during, and after the funeral service. Ask your local funeral directors for advice. Talk with local pastors who have served in the community for many years. Different areas of the country will have unique customs you might be unaware of based on your experience in other areas. You want your ministry during this time to not be the focus of the service but to be a comfort to the family. I would also encourage you to prepare five or ten sermons you can adapt and use with short notice during funeral services. Also, collecting and compiling appropriate scriptures, poems, and illustrations for your funeral sermons will benefit your ministry in the long term. Your pastoral ministry during these times will build a strong and lasting connection with the families in your church and community. #pastoralministry #churchministry #churchleadership #pastor #pastorlife #preaching #funeral


