Paul Harrison

@mjccfc Dropped Harris and Cullen for good PR so calls up two ageing players who spent ages injured instead

Connor Roberts 12 months injured and shit will be nearly 33 in Euro 2028… Davies captain but will likely be retired and still no chance for Rubin Get this ego-maniac out, there’s no hope having him be the one shaping the nation for a home euros

@bobbankvillage Seems a mad amount for a non league player

It was a stupid decision by Ken Choo to let him go. Has the skills to go right to the top

A farmer dies in April 2026. His son inherits the farm. The farm has been in the family since 1847. The farm consists of: 300 acres of grazing pasture, a farmhouse built in 1892, a barn, a milking parlour, two tractors of varying ages, a Land Rover that runs about 70% of the time, and a herd of 180 Hereford-cross cattle. On paper, the farm is worth approximately £3.2 million. This is because land near him has been bought recently by a London hedge fund looking for carbon credits, which has dragged the comparable value of every field within forty miles upward to a number nobody local can justify. In cash, the farm produces a profit of about £28,000 a year in a good year. In a bad year it loses money. The son also works as a fencing contractor three days a week to keep the operation viable. The inheritance tax bill on a £3.2 million estate, even at the reduced 20% rate, comes to approximately £140,000 after the increased threshold is applied. The son does not have £140,000. The son has never had £140,000. The son has £4,200 in his current account and an overdraft. The son sells 60 acres to a developer to pay the tax. The developer puts solar panels on the 60 acres. The remaining herd cannot be sustained on the reduced land. The herd is sold. The barn becomes a holiday let. A different family eats Brazilian beef this Christmas without knowing why the price went up. The Treasury collects £140,000. The land never produces British food again.

AAA announced that the Serenata for El Grande Americano is back on and it will take place tonight in the Domo Kings League in Mexico City.

This is what I heard regarding the Ludwig Kaiser situation. He was in the apartment elevator with Andrea Bazarte and they were being affectionate, but nothing crazy or out of the ordinary. Reap allegedly didn’t say anything in the elevator but once he got out on the 12th floor, he allegedly said something to Kaiser to the effect of “you need to show some f’n respect before I call ICE on that b**ch.” Kaiser got out of the elevator and they had a little scuffle, but no punches were apparently thrown.

@reddit_lies I used 5G to control their brain waves 😂

@EnKISaiYan @BBCSportWales Half the England squad is imported haha

@BBCSportWales Wales should try something else other than nepotism for scouting players… maybe then they’d have a better squad.

No more San Marino, Gibraltar or Andorra for Wales? 😮 Uefa will create a two-tier qualification process for the 2030 World Cup which will mirror the Champions League format ⚽ #BBCFootball

@BBCSportWales So no more of England getting Lapland, Timbuktu and Farmfoods in their qualifying groups?

UK TV sport industry: ‘Why are so many people turning to illegal fire sticks?’ Also UK TV sport industry: ‘The 2026 Champions League final involving a UK team will not be broadcast free-to-air for the first time in 34 years.’

Activist: "Beef uses an obscene amount of water. Fifteen thousand litres per kilo." Farmer: "Where did the water come from?" Activist: "What?" Farmer: "The fifteen thousand litres. Where was it before it was on the bill." Activist: "I don't know. A river?" Farmer: "The sky. About ninety-four percent of that figure is rain that fell on the field and got drunk by the grass. The cow ate the grass. The rain was on its way down whether the cow was here or not." Activist: "But it still counts as water used." Farmer: "By the grass. Which would have used it whether I farmed or moved to Spain. The cow isn't commissioning the rainfall. The rain isn't on the cow's payroll." Activist: "Then just don't have the cow." Farmer: "The rain still falls. The grass still drinks it. The water cycles back into the air anyway, just without anyone getting fed in the middle." Activist: "It's not that simple." Farmer: "It's rain, grass, cow, river. Or it's rain, grass, rot, river. Same circle, fewer dinners. Meanwhile every almond in your milk took a gallon of pumped aquifer water in California to grow. That one you might want to worry about. The rain in Wales is doing fine without your concern."

I literally never heard it until this moment.

AR YA REET BOR!!😁

@NinjaTurtleLair Keating

Who did you think the last Ronan should be and why?

The media treatment of Zack Polanski is a disgrace. I mean who amongst us hasn't... 🚩Changed their name 🚩Dodged council tax on their houseboat 🚩Exaggerated every role on their CV 🚩Advocated hypnosis to make boobs bigger You're allowed one of these, not all of them.

Hello @AltonTowers. I lost my AirPods at your resort on 5th May and filled out the lost property form (with full details). I was the very last guest out of the hotel before it closed after the May Day bank holiday weekend, on 5th May. Ergo, a customer couldn’t have picked them up. They’ve been pinging in Splash Landings Hotel (in the Flambo’s Jambo restaurant, which is where I know I accidentally left them on a table before leaving after taking a Teams call before my drive back to London) ever since, until yesterday… It looks like one of your staff members have taken them home as they’re now at a nearby address in Stoke-on-Trent - I’m going to guess that’s not your usual lost property procedure… Can you let me know who in Alton Towers or Merlin I should contact regarding CCTV requests as I’d like to report this as a theft offence to Staffordshire Police? Many thanks. P.S. I contacted you about this privately via Facebook Messenger on 6th May, but you never bothered replying. It’s now 11th May FYI. Really good to know you value customer service - particularly for Merlin Annual Passholders.

🤣

@dqveed That fridge has a load of snacks!

From a teenager to a 46 year old mother of 3 you sack of shit

@ywomendeservles Stick to what you're good at, I guess

I’d say Shipman but you do you