FakeyPepys

@1Baroque Mine writing hand hath withered ‘pon the vine. I hath grown weary of the goodly Lord Musk and his wittering. ‘Tis a fair hour for my departure in haste.

@Pepys_Diaries what think thou of resuming thy musings for the reign of the new King Charles, the third I think that thou has known?

Happy publication to @mullies and the brilliant THE TIME OF MY LIFE. I'm pretty sure nothing will overshadow her debut book launch.

@SuzieLoding How intriguing! I thank thee for bringing this to my attention.

Congratulations, @Pepys_Diaries , you made the letters page of this month's Fortean Times! 🙈

@MRickelton Madam, I fear my quill doth run slow these days. These ill times sadden me heartily, and hath forced me to avert my gaze from the painful sights without, in order to spend time managing mine inward sighs.

@Pepys_Diaries Why, thine silence is deafening, Mister Pepys. I do sorely long for the return of thine mirthful insights.

@Pepys_Diaries What strange times we live in when we latterly disguised a fart with a cough, and now needs must disguise a cough with a fart - A rum turnaround indeed.

Saddened indeed to read that the laying low of our elderly was perhaps their carers’ doing, the noble Mister Johnson clear of any blame. Would that they, in the words of Mister Rees-Mogg, had simply used “common sense” and devised a strategy of their own to confound the plague!

@byRobWilliams @snopes I thank thee for bringing this to mine eye, as it has furnished me with much laughter.

Noted 17th-century influencer Samuel Pepys... bit.ly/3gDDJnz

@byRobWilliams @snopes Fame at last indeed!

@ij_ford I hath nought but apologies for you, Sir. Such familial trespasses are not to be endured.

@MissDyniaethau @ahistoryteache1 I am afeared that these are modern words of mine, shucked from their context and spread as if quilled in 1665.

@ahistoryteache1 Good point! I know that Samuel Pepys wrote famous diaries around the time of the bubonic plague where parallels have been made to coronavirus pandemic so assumed it was when I first saw it. Definitely possible that this quote could have been made up for social media clout 🤔

Are these times really as unprecedented as we think I wonder?

@hannahmcandrew @TimPowl @KBJWhitstable I thank thee kindly, Madam.

@TimPowl @KBJWhitstable Well worth following @Pepys_Diaries on here though, brilliantly written and much amusement.

@JanetMullender I wish thee godspeed, but fear you shall have little luck.

@Pepys_Diaries A masterly jape that I have a mind to put before my goode man

Though I am mortally afeared of the plague, I hath begun to ponder whether Mrs Pepys might be persuaded out of doors betimes, and thence to a tap house at cock’s crow. Deep in her cups by noon, I warrant I might persuade her she hath the wrong lodgings on her return.

@ByWillows The lie shall not be stopper’d now. I fear my words hath now been seen by more modern men than those penned in 1665.

@Pepys_Diaries Good Sir, thine words do continue to spread far and wide as missives from thy namesake. Only this morn, did they appear on mine book of the face, carried by Mercury's fast wings.

As the taverns prepare to furnish the masses with drams and vittles once more, I notice my words of less recent times hath been resurrected. Though the plague abates, they ring no less true to mine ears, so I shall shutter myself inside to endure the prating of Mrs Pepys.

@RichardOliff Indeed!

On hearing ill rumour that Londoners may soon be urged into their lodgings by Her Majesty’s men, I looked upon the street to see a gaggle of striplings making fair merry, and no doubt spreading the plague well about. Not a care had these rogues for the health of their elders!

Happily, I hath a notion that a mask purchased during the last plague may still be in my possession, and shall seek it out i’the loft. Though cumbersome, it furnishes the wearer with the added delight of frighting my Wyffe’s dentures clear from her rattletrap.

Mrs Pepys hath fashioned me a mask from one of her stockings, yet with salons shuttered up, her trotters are as gnarled as a tree stump - frightful things to behold indeed. I hath concluded I should rather take my chances wi’ the plague.

@fakehistoryhunt I did not wish to assume, Madam. If today hath taught me aught, it’s that appearances may be deceptive.

Q. What do these two have in common? A. Samuel Pepys didn’t write either of them! The Secret Diary of Samuel Pepys, aged Ten & Three Quarters, by Julian Dutton - available now at ye knock-down price of half a sovereign! amazon.co.uk/Secret-Diary-S…

@fakehistoryhunt Your efforts to propel the truth into the hearts of men do you credit, good Sir/Madam.

@ColossusNick This is a fake Pepys quote created by a parody account, it is fake history. More here; pepysdiary.com/news/2020/03/2…

@amonck @OldLondonW14 @ivorytowerjourn I must confess, I am partial to the Muppets’ fine merry-making, and may have been swayed...

'The taverns are full of gadabouts making merry this eve. And though I may press my face against the window like an urchin at a confectioners, I am tempted not by the sweetmeats within. A dram in exchange for the pox is an ill bargain indeed.' The Diary of Samuel Pepys.