Steelers J. Trump

Many students are saying THANK YOU, TRUMP for closing all Pittsburgh public schools during the NFL Draft. They should SKIP online classes too! Our city needs to focus on what matters – WINNING THE SUPER BOWL, not teachers spewing “WOKE” propaganda. I LOVE the poorly educated!

I’m VERY BUSY at Mar a Lago, Marlon! The NFL Draft is very soon, and Boz needs a new deal. Many Ravens fans are saying that you spend too time podcasting instead of practicing. Next time you have Sleazy Steve Bisciotti on, ask how many lawyers he hired to try and dodge TRUMP!

Team USA has been HUMILIATED by third world Venezuela in the World Baseball Classic. The United States was billed as a historic “SUPER TEAM,” but they could barely score, and the defense collapsed in big moments – how very familiar. MAKE THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS GREAT AGAIN!!!

The Pittsburgh Steelers have NO INTEREST in drafting Sleepy Carson Beck. He always looks HIGH, is very ugly, and it took him 5 YEARS to learn how to check down properly. NO THANKS! Will Howard is our handsome future QB1. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President SJT

Devious Darius Slay has retired from the NFL, but of course, only after STEALING $10 MILLION from our Steelers! Slay did NOTHING in Pittsburgh except bounce off tackles and get burned. He is a TOTAL LOSER, so of course Eagles fans love him! He NEVER deserved a Steelers jersey!!!

THANK YOU Calvin Austin, who unfortunately has to go play in New York (Jersey). Cal was a RELIABLE receiver who would have had much better stats if Mike Tomlin didn’t hire MORON offensive coordinators. TRUMP will pay for his new healthcare plan, too. WE TAKE CARE OF OUR VETS!

ANOTHER DEAL! We have signed Jaquan Brisker, a STUD young safety, from the Bears. He said, “Sir, I CANNOT play for the ineptly run team moving to Indiana from Chicago, and that has a QB who paints his nails like a girl!” We would have BEATEN the Bears - BIGLY - if Aaron played!

Many are saying THANK YOU, TRUMP for the absolute FLEECE of Clueless Carly Irsay-Gordon and the Colts. We traded NOTHING for Marvelous Michael Pittman! Carly likes to doodle on her notepad, while Chris Ballard (also clueless) is always drunk. I MADE THE DEAL, NOT FAT OMAR KHAN!

@thuuuuney 4/10 is very generous for you and the woman you’re pictured with!

@Pigskin_Papi Effort and Idea 9/10 Execution 4/10 Needs more flavor

NOW, THE CORRUPT RAVENS ARE ILLEGALLY SIGNING TREY HENDRICKSON, AFTER ILLEGALLY ENTERING, THEN BACKING OUT OF, THE MAXX CROSBY TRADE. THIS IS A SHAMELESS FRANCHISE OF FELONS AND THUGS! I AM TAKING SLEAZY STEVE BISCIOTTI TO COURT, AND CROOKED ROGER GOODELL WILL JOIN HIM. RIGGED!!!

WOW! Mad Maxx Crosby has smartly REFUSED to go to the Ravens, and the trade, which NEVER should have occurred due to ILLEGAL TAMPERING, is now void! I vetoed the move immediately, because Sleazy Steve Bisciotti and Shady Tom Brady are in cahoots! Now, time to PUNISH LEGALLY!!!

YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT is having lunch today with our new signings! “Uncle” Rico Dowdle will DOMINATE the run game. Jamming Jamel Dean will be a SHUTDOWN corner. Marvelous Michael Pittman will MOG corners with ease. We have “ROSTER MAXXED!” If Aaron isn’t satisfied, he can GO!

HOW DARE FAT OMAR KHAN ALLOW KENNETH GAINWELL TO LEAVE IN FREE AGENCY??? HE WAS THE TEAM MVP FOR A REASON, TURNING CHECK DOWNS INTO BIG PLAYS WEEKLY. JAYLEN WARREN NEEDS A RUNNING MATE, AND CLUELESS KALEB JOHNSON CANNOT BE TRUSTED!!!

Welcome to Pittsburgh, Michael Pittman! He is a PHYSICAL wide receiver who will PULVERIZE cornerbacks in the run game on top of making tough catches. We need BIG PLAYS on offense! Plus, how many “PITT MAN” references will the lazy announcers make every game??? Enjoy!

I TOLD FAT OMAR KHAN TO MAKE AWESOME ALEC PIERCE AN OFFER HE COULDN’T REFUSE. INSTEAD, OMAR WOULD RATHER TRUST LITTLE CALVIN AUSTIN AND DROP ARTIST DK METCALF, WHO WE SHOULD’VE NEVER GIVEN THE GUARANTEED MONEY TO. THE “KHAN ARTIST” IS STEALING FROM THE STEELERS!!!

EXECUTIVE ORDER: I VETO THE MAXX CROSBY TRADE TO THE RAVENS! THIS IS ILLEGAL TAMPERING BEFORE FREE AGENCY OFFICIALLY BEGINS, AND SLEAZY STEVE BISCIOTTI HAS PHOTOGRAPHS THAT MORONIC MARK DAVIS IS SCARED OF BEING RELEASED. SHADY TOM BRADY SENT BRIBES TOO! I HAVE PROOF! UNETHICAL!!!

Not only is Violent Myles Garrett DANGEROUS on the field – he also tries to KILL people on the road! His 9th speeding ticket in under 10 years. This pathological criminal should be LOCKED UP FOR LIFE, with no bail and no “good behavior” loopholes. Trash human, trash franchise!

If Aaron Rodgers appreciates our Steelers as much as he claims, he would have a YES or NO answer to his future in Pittsburgh NOW. He would rather have sex with his fake wife and go skiing while on magic mushrooms. We have NO TIME to waste on QB1, and it should be WILL HOWARD!

The Pittsburgh Steelers have NO INTEREST in signing Little Kyler Murray. He can’t even see over the line, much less read the defense and audible properly. However, I think he’d make a great PIRATE, but Bob Nutting won’t pay. Too bad. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

It is a DISGRACE that our Steelers ranked 32nd in the NFL report cards, with tons of “F” grades! Looney Art Rooney is a CHEAPSKATE who cares about lining his pockets, not winning. Players are eating Lunchables in the cafeteria and lifting broomsticks in the gym. SELL THE TEAM!!!