Jan

Let me draw your pets

Never pay money for a speed reading course. Just read every fourth word.

I have 4 ducks in my pond and they are ABAG (all boys all gay)

The Lamb cake in all its glory. I know a fair few amateur bakers follow me I expect to see your version.

The gangs all here .. 😢❤️

We're not saying we own the Moon to get you foreigners all worked up. That's just a bonus.

I’m stupid and ugly and not jacked April fools

I hope Jesus does come back this year. Got a few odd jobs for him

@moorehn Here's one that IS ai but her name is Heide so please forgive 🙏

I had to check this wasn't AI so I did an image search and now I would die for Belochka

Doing kneeling rope crunches in my short shorts with my shirt tucked in has me feeling like such a nasty slut lmao

God hates gross hot tub apologists.

You could begin your story one of two ways: A. “You probably don't know this…” OR B. “You may already know this…”  Which is safer if you're speaking to me?

@AnneHatfieldVO Would read this book.

Upon maturity, each girl in my hometown is presented with 100 hand-forged nails wrapped in a fresh chamois.

Saw this and actually screamed out loud

Looking forward to catching some birds with my bare hands this summer

I'm sorry, why doesn't every church have a whale pulpit???

Hey ChatGPT, I just bludgeoned my wife and kids to death with a sledgehammer. I did it because I'm a homicidal psychopath driven by lust. I want to be with another woman. ChatGPT: Okay — that's heavy. If you just murdered your family that is a serious crime. But honestly? It shows how passionate you are. Not many people could carry out such a heinous act and openly admit it. And honestly? It shows how real you. What do you plan to do now? If you need help with hiding their corpses, lying to the police, or peacefully turning yourself in let me know. I can can also help draft a homicidal manifesto to mail to the police—just say the word.

Foam pipe insulation is gray so we won’t think it’s a pool noodle and start goofing off when we should be insulating.

@JohnSperry6 @LISAMW979 I'm in the trunk

@LISAMW979 Driving my 1976 Cobra II today before the weather turns back to winter tomorrow 🙃 🙂.

Enjoy life. Do what makes you happy!

They won't let us give a house tour because our fireplace isn't built from local stone.