Business Insultant🔵

ME: you can’t just put “Mc” in front of anything and sell it. It just doesn’t work that way RONALD MCDONALD: *exhales a cloud of cigarette smoke* McKill him

cars these days have too many gadgets. tried to reverse and it played a video of somebody getting run over by a car

Rest in peace my granny. I will not be disclosing the cause of her death for privacy but if you wish to donate to the funeral please direct all funds to the Bazooka Attack Victims Association.

"twin", "king", "queen"... why are the youths calling each other mattress sizes

Just came up with a new one time verification code 232871 @amazon @apple @microsoft just in case you're interested

Yes, it's a longstanding rule that the Pope must be Catholic.

The plan? We’ll start a sparkling wine business out of Champaign, IL

people who get diarrhea from taco bell are weak and their bloodline is weak and history will forget them

Not very good at it

You’ve been hit by You’ve been struck by A grey Subaru

Took Adderall too late in the day yesterday and was up until 4am writing down compliments i could give a judge to get him on my side if im on trial

please believe me

A horse is just a motorcycle with a butthole.

This means there’s a Waluigi Mangione who works in private equity

bird sounds

I’m teaming up with modelo to free every animal in this pet store

Me: so which ones have jive asses Turkey farmer: what

no, comrade—OUR neck. OUR back

The funk soul brother