Some Professor

What the hell, @FreshDirect ? I've used you for years and you can't clean up--literally--the mess you've made? Unbelievable. 5/x

I say that this morning we were told that they could come get it today and am told that I never contacted them this morning. I ask to talk to a manager bc stories are not getting straight and they hang up. 4/x

@FreshDirect driver had we assume been delivering to a neighbor. It's dark and they messed up. But critters have already been getting at the food. So I open a chat. And they say eventually they're coming today to pick it up but can't give a time so we get on the plane. 2/x

Left for vacation first thing this morning and it has been a DAY. @FreshDirect is doing what they can to wreck it. At 5:00 this morning we open the door to leave to find that last night a Freshdirect driver had dropped food we didn't order off in front of our house. 1/x

Trumpists are now learning about corporate personhood...

The nice thing about online forms is that I now get emails with subject lines "Completed. Complete Incomplete Form." Lewis Carroll has nothing on academia when it hits its stride.

It's telling that every voter who preferred the Affordable Care Act to Obamacare voted for Trump.

The annual fight over the wreath has begun. My wife has now rejected my suggestions of naming it A-Wreatha Franklin, Wreath Witherspoon, Wreathus Pieces, Jack Wreather, and, in a surprise move, refuses to even consider Wreath Should Exceed Grasp.

@mbmcmanamon His typing skills are so bad it's hard to tell what he's trying to write, honestly. They keep blocking him for being disruptive.

@ProfessorSome Lol. Is he accurate at least?

I've checked all the parenting books I can find and so far none explain how to convince your ten year old to stop editing Wikipedia entries.

Hunter Biden is probably a creep but the outrage over his father pardoning him is silly. I'd pardon my son in his shoes no matter what. Save the outrage for when Biden leaves people on death row for Trump to have them put to death.

@mbmcmanamon @ask_aubry Really the whole statement is like a bunch of red flags strung together.

@ask_aubry 1) He “treats everyone in[his] life with utmost respect and dignity.” Next paragraph begins, “You bitches.” 2) It’s “men,” but “females.” Immediate red flag.

Of course typical "Nice Guy™" move

My wife says that I apparently am not Christmas minded enough to pick out a wreath for the front door.

As others have said, incompetence is our best bet on surviving four more years. That and not reading the news too often.

Love that a bunch of racists are insisting that illegal immigrants are the reason there's a resurgence of measles while allying themselves with idiots who refuse to get vaccinated.

@mbmcmanamon @VABVOX I wish but I suspect we're going to see challenges there too.

@VABVOX My kids had to show vaccination records to get into college. Maybe enough un-vaxxed kids will be denied admission to college to change this trend.

There are mumps, whooping cough and measles outbreaks right now. The reason: unvaxxed kids. Why don't you love your kids enough to protect them from the deadly diseases your parents protected you from? These diseases had previously been virtually eradicated by vaccines.

1. There’s an argument I want to discuss. It goes something like this: Donald Trump’s policies are going to alienate some of the people who voted for him.

@KellyODonn Also I believe this is the first time a human ever impersonated a bot. History is made!!!!

The bot to human ratio has definitely changed some. Bots, do YOU think it should be a historian or an historian?

@KellyODonn Careful! The bots will hear you and swarm!