Haim Matharu

A few weeks ago my apartment building decided to take away the only two ADA Parking spots. When I asked the property manager about it I was told it was going to be permanent as far as they knew. This isn't right. #washingtondc @311DCgov @ODRDC

@PardonMyTake @PardonMyTake does this clowning constitute a SOUPY sorrow for @hen_ease ? @BarstoolBigCat @PFTCommenter @Billyhottakes @PMTsportsbiz

@PardonMyTake does this clowning constitute a SOUPY sorrow for @hen_ease ? @BarstoolBigCat @PFTCommenter @Billyhottakes @PMTsportsbiz

@iamcardib @theestallion... Moist Ass Turkey... MAT. The Thanksgiving song no one asked for, but now exists #WAP #Thanksgiving

@TheBozzBeeta I'll come thru and set em straight

@TheBozzBeeta Still going?

Airport restaurants should have UberEats or GrubHub. I mean there are already golf carts it's the only logical next step #melikeybigmikey

I don't know why, but I feel more betrayed than I should be by @Microsoft that the default font isn't Times New Roman 12 point #bigmikeynolikey

Whenever I get asked my greatest accomplishment, finding an open power outlet at an airport bar is easily the best #melikeybigmikey

Smart phones are great, but they'll never give me the chance to stop that stupid text from sending to that one girl like my old flip phone

If Netflix made a "@tomhanks" category, I would be set for life #melikeybigmikey

The best part of being an adult is you can eat M&Ms for dinner and no one can say anything, the worst part is knowing you shouldn't #mlbm

I'm gonna call my mixtape "Knowledge" So I can drop it on some kids #melikeybigmikey

No matter how loud a city gets, The Salvation Army bells will always be heard right down to your guilty soul #melikeybigmikey

All I want in life is to be rich enough that I can wear a pair of Converses with a suit and no one calls me out for it #melikeybigmikey

@DomMazzetti say no more, that's all I need to hear

I don't know why, but I trust my pilot more when he has a mustache, there's just something about it that's reassuring #melikeybigmikey

Whatever happened to those smiley face french fries things? #melikeybigmikey

@AmandaRenee5 that's a dangerous game to play, trust me

If I close my eyes when I watch a Tom Hanks movie it becomes a new adventure for Woody in Toy Story #melikeybigmikey