The Dysfunctional Banker

@BojanRadojici10 Please send

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@LouAnonAnon Girl math is not knowing the difference between revenue and profit

Boy math is spending $43 billion dollars to make $0 in revenue

Quickest way for my analyst to get demoted to “coffee boy”

@commbankerguy @YoungKo83 Is this effective for all banks or only banks above a certain asset size?

@YoungKo83 The Fed is now including owner occupied into 300% CRE bucket which is a change from past. So now portfolio concentrations are adjusted way higher and will have to pare back CRE lending or face criticism.

My notes from senior lending forum yesterday: 1) Banks slowly turning spigot back on 2) No credit issues, like zero 3) Word is getting out about the Fed counting owner occupied in CRE bucket, everyone concerned. 4) Deposits required to do most loans 10-20% of loan is typical 5) Seeing more divide in voting among loan committee members

Normalize wearing Heelys in a professional office setting

How woke banks approve deals:

Facts

twitter.com/PepoIogy/statu… Borrowers every time I ask for updated financials

Me to my colleague after they secured a 15% salary raise while I only got a 3% raise

Regulators call it “Check Kiting” I call it “Cash Flow Management”

Can relate. I’ve said “sure, he’s more handsome but no way he knows cash flow better than I do” on many occasions

I always have to remind loan committee members this when they are grilling my sus-deal

Me: *finish credit presentation Lender: Got updated financials. Gonna need you to update the memo. Need to modify the loan amount too Me:

Happy rate hike day to those who celebrate

Me as an analyst trying to contribute in the discussion with the client and lender

My personal financial statement is so detailed, I include Kohls Cash balances and mail-in rebates from Menards

@marcuslemonis Just bought a new smoker. membership to @butcherbox would be an amazing way to break it in and host friends/family at our new home #kindnesswithMarcus

One hour of wishes granted… must use #KindnesswithMarcus to make it kindness.com

Just as noble, imo

How the 87,000 new IRS agents will shut down a lemonade stand when they learn the kid isn’t keeping a sales ledger

Something I can relate to