Matt Brand

That time of each year when we #RedSox fans convince ourselves that management will spend on free agents after the constant reporting of "in on [him]" and "had a zoom with [him]" and "kicked the tires on [him]" just to see them do nothing...again. I'd be happy to be proven wrong.

Not a great week but did just see someone get scolded at Cava by an employee for aggressively reaching beyond the glass to point out which food was the cucumbers and that made me laugh out loud, in public so…it’s the small things. @GaryGulman

I would rather X just get rid of the “For You” and “Following” choice and mix them vs the random changing of what I actually choose (“Following”) to what it wants. It feels sneaky and doesn’t build trust.

When there is a new device at an #AppleEvent, what do most people care about?

I wrote a book about parenting because everyone NEEDS to know about my own experience. It is called Nature & Nurture: A Journey Through the Fog of Parenting and I think you should read it...yes, you. #parenting #books #mustread #amwriting a.co/d/3impj8q

Just went to Cava and got dirty looks as I ordered with my hands in my pockets because now I’m self-conscious thanks to @GaryGulman

My first book is officially available for purchase. It’s basically a book about #parenting but without any tips; just my experience so far told in a relatable and (hopefully) fun way. a.co/d/g1PXyfi #books #authors #kids

The best way to lose my enthusiasm for a brand is to receive an email every single day from them. Take a break. Hard to believe but just because I spent 1 fun night at Mohegan Sun doesn’t mean I want to hear from you every day for the rest of my life.

@AndyGray35 Why not 11?

So, I wrote a book about the first 15 years of my parenting experience. "Nature & Nurture: A Journey Through the Fog of Parenting" is now available for pre-oder. Amazon: lnkd.in/eK5QWztj Barnes and Noble: lnkd.in/ebYjDsHq #books #parenting #authorlife

Helldivers 2: Outstanding fun. Trust me. That is all.

@jhrubin theverge.com/2024/2/22/2408…

I asked my wife (who has Verizon) if she had cell service, as my AT&T phone does not. She asked, "why, did you forget to pay the bill." I'm insulted (thank you, autopay). Why we have two different carriers is a whole different story. #ATTdown #outage

@SarahADowney Don’t you mean, purr-est pleasures? No? #dadjoke

Having a cat on your lap for a sustained period of time is one of life’s purest pleasures

@SarahADowney @Xfinity Did you even, like, unplug the router, wait 30-60 seconds, and then plug it in???

Every interaction with the @Xfinity app, summarized: Me, having terrible wifi connectivity: *checks Xfinity app* Xfinity app: "Your plan is getting 112% of your plan speed!" Me, still with no wifi: 🙃

The combo of opaque pricing and incessant empty-cart emails might work on some people but is the quickest way to lose me.

If you’re wondering about the $6 billion that you may have heard about as money the US gave to Iran, it is worth giving this a listen (around minute 21-ish), where @TVietor08 and @brhodes explain how that money actually works: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pod… #StandWithIsrael

@pazfeed @GaryGulman Of course! I hope you and your family are safe. Great to hear from you.

Go read @GaryGulman’s book Misfit. Highly recommend. Outstanding nostalgia, even if you didn’t also grow up in Peabody and have Mr. Story for High School English. It even includes a super Jewish Summer Camp analogy. Congrats to Gary. Well done. a.co/d/eH3WQ8P

@GaryGulman I don’t like milk but always bought lunch so got one and would give it away. One day at Peabody High, I gave my milk to a jock. Minutes later, while eating, a custodian brought me a new milk. He saw the jock get my milk and thought I had been bullied. PVMHS: sweet custodians

@sherman4949 This story is writing itself.

@RealMattBrand Not great attributes for a QB

I’ve seen enough of Mac. I’ll be happy to be proven wrong at some point but enough is enough. #Patriots