Washed Gamer

My 100,000th tweet has to be special so here we go: It’s all bullshit. It’s all for fun. Twitter is pure entertainment for me & sometimes the truth isn’t as fun as the lie. I would’ve stopped using this app a long time ago if I didn’t fundamentally enjoy it as much as I do.

@Degen_CPA All 3 of my accounts said 145 so it must be true. The internet never lies

72% of twitter thinks they’re above 110 IQ

@knowiiiedge None if you take it as is. You need the article ‘a’ before heart attack. B & D are both fine for everyday grammar once that’s fixed

He died ___ heart attack. A) by B) from C) with D) of

@GymLeaderDev Yes

Tf some of yall want him to say? When he woke up for breakfast and LeBron James was scrabbling eggs in his kitchen?

@therandomsec Tbf they played for Duke which nobody ever believes in

People keep saying that a 16 seed would win March Madness if they had 1 NBA player on their roster. People forget that Kon Kneupel and Cooper Flagg were on the same team last year as a 1 seed and didn’t win it 😭

my grocery store didn’t get the update bro, we calling it the bam beef now

@BronMuse I know bron bad at golf but man Lol x.com/golfdigest/sta…

LeBron was trying to get his golf ball and an alligator tried sneaking up on him 😭😭😭

@grfarmgoat @anymanfitness As someone who actually ate around 1200-1500 calories for a few months, I lost like 60 lbs in 3 months & 80 in 6 as I leveled out The thing about losing weight is that you have to be honest with yourself

@anymanfitness I ate 1200 for 44 days straight. Measured and weighed everything. I gained weight. I wish was I kidding.

"1200 calories is starvation" is a psyop. If you are: - a woman - have a desk job - short - over 40 (perimenopause territory) Your maintenance calories are between 1500-1600 If you want to lose fat, you need to create a deficit somehow

@PBanpoys @rkylesmith Oh, didn’t realize the main characters name was Grace otherwise def would’ve gotten the reference lol. Doh

@RealWashedGamer @rkylesmith The title is Project Hail Mary. It’s a reference to a football play. The main character’s name is Grace because the author thought it was funny.

TIL that if there were hypothetically a movie about a guy called Grace who boarded a ship called Hail Mary to sacrifice his life to redeem humanity there would be guys too dumb to grasp that this is an allegory.

@SandyofCthulhu Some host. But maybe they complained about the free food & tried to make his wedding about them. Some guests are truly awful

He boiled his wedding guests alive.

@TheDunkCentral @JoelXLorenzi Not by choice

The OKC Thunder will skip a visit to the White House this year, per @JoelXLorenzi

Chuck Norris didn't join the Marine Corps...the Marine Corps applied to him. Heaven’s streets have always been guarded by Marines. Today, Chuck Norris reported for duty. We mourn the passing of Chuck Norris, a @usairforce veteran, who also became an honorary Marine in 2007 when awarded the title by then Commandant of the Marine Corps, Gen. James T. Conway. Chuck Norris is one of just over 100 individuals to be awarded the title of Honorary Marine in the entire 250-year history of the Corps. Some missions may require a battalion, but this one just requires an Honorary Marine. #USMCHistory #USMC #SemperFidelis

This year is FLYING by. Swear it was just a couple days ago that March started & now it’s almost April. It doesn’t even make sense how fast it’s going I’m in a groove so I don’t hate it, but it’s wild

@FineNDanDee Can we touch the soft spot on its head?

I don't really wanna know the answer but like... What if you shake the controller furiously like what did the developers do for that

@0ba0sama Partially bc 30% of those balls ain’t making it back in storage after the lesson

The US don’t fund schools enough to have this many basketballs at once

Was playing wow with my buddy the other day & some kid asks for an Invite in such a way that leads my buddy to believe he knows the person & he asked the guy his name & he was like ‘Alex’ even though he (Alex) knew he didn’t know my buddy Like why are you sharing your name for no reason? Who cares? lol

Why are children so addicted to doxxing themselves😭 A while back, I had a kid come into stream with their first message going "I just got back from the waterpark!". I ignore it. Seeing that I ignored it, their SECOND message is "The waterpark I was at was (NAME), I live across the street from it!!" I can't remember EVER being that reckless with my info when I was younger. Has internet safety just disappeared, or do children yearn to publicly post their address?

@KoronellukinhaC Dragonite / Tyranitar Dragapult prob next

#Pokemon What's your favorite pseudo-legendary?

@J0hnADouglas It’s basically Antz / A Bugs Life

I’ll never look at ants the same way again

@TylerCLaRocca Just @ Trey next time

I fuckin wish

@KennyLauderdal3 Man eater bug seeing this knowing his demon child has grown up

"I set & pass" - alright I attack the face down. "Ok you lose" - I what? "You just attacked a 12,000 defense monster, you lose.

One time I entered a tournament with this & knocked 3 of the top 32 players out by pumping it's defense. The look on their face as they attacked a 12,000 DEF wall will never be topped. I think that's the Spirit of Yu-Gi-Oh! Using BS strategies that somehow work, but shouldn't.