sassafras

“Showgirl isn’t relatable to me” so you’ve never been in love, pissed at someone who betrayed you or horny? Because those feel pretty universal to me

tay said she wants babies with facial features she fell in love with and i think that is one of the purest and most beautiful ways a person can describe and express love for someone else

The rapture

My label said I gotta get out in these streets and sell this album 😩 store.cardib.com

@MrBeast @Hiramburrola

If I offered you $1,000,000 but you only keep it if the first person you call answers, who would you call?

How do I raise enough money in the next day or so, so I can attend the Cowboy Carter show… @parkwood 👀

@MrBeast Can you do this with Beyonce Vegas tickets except it’s just for me and my boyf?

I bought two VIP Coldplay tickets and one random person that tags their boss in the replies will win them! (if you win watch out for the Jumbotron)

I just want to go to Beyonce in Vegas. But I’m being told I have to be responsible this paycheck…. Why is adulting this hard 😢

Ngl, Oprah looks fantastic. So if she wants to do a GLP1 scholarship, can I be the first recipient?!

The kids are screaming LeBron instead of Kobe now when shooting shots

You never realize how important the palm of your thumb is for brushing your hair until you’ve accidentally stabbed yourself….

Saw who I believe to have been @qtcinderella at the doxy derby today and I refused to say hi but like you’re cool.

ngl, i need a steel door if i’m hanging from it.

@miller906 Committing is not me

Who’s up commuting social security fraud

when I text “interesting” this how i be looking

Always tell you pet you’ll see them later when you go to work! Ease their mind 😂

Still reeling over my eye doctor saying he can tell I rub my eyes 😂